


Not So Straight 'A's

by imnotreddie



Series: Reddie Oneshots & AU Fics [6]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, Reddie - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Angst, Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Sex, Good Parents Maggie & Wentworth Tozier, Graduation, Jealousy, Literal Sleeping Together, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Beta Read, Oblivious Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Oral Sex, POV Eddie Kaspbrak, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Reddie, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Richie Tozier, Sonia Kaspbrak Being Terrible, Top Richie Tozier, Top Richie Tozier/Bottom Eddie Kaspbrak, richie gets off on being loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:54:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28909644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotreddie/pseuds/imnotreddie
Summary: Every year, Eddie travels from NYU to UCLA to visit Richie for his birthday. He plans to confess his feelings before they graduate, but when he gets there he meets Richie's girlfriend.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Reddie - Relationship
Series: Reddie Oneshots & AU Fics [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021668
Comments: 16
Kudos: 160





	Not So Straight 'A's

**Author's Note:**

> This took way too long to write but here it is!
> 
> *TW: Alcohol/Drug Use & discussions of abuse

The flight from New York to Los Angeles was a little over six hours, which meant Eddie had plenty of time to think about how he wanted the trip to turn out. It was simple really, all he had to do was be honest with himself. And with Richie.

He knew that the love he had for Richie was far different from the love he had for his other friends. He’d almost confessed after high school graduation, knowing that he and Richie would be separated by almost three thousand miles. He was ready to burst just thinking about being across the country from his best friend, from his crush of ten years. 

Eddie always knew he was different. The word “gay” scared him for the majority of his life, horrified by the implications of liking other boys in a small conservative town. But that was the thing, he wasn’t sure he liked boys or if he just liked Richie. He certainly couldn’t come out to his mother, but his friends were different. 

He was ready on the day of graduation to have a serious talk with Richie before they moved on to college. He had worked out exactly what he was going to say and when he would pull Richie aside to say it. But it all went out the window as soon as Richie’s parents took a photo of them together and Richie whispered in his ear, “three thousand miles has nothing on us Eds. It’s gonna take a lot more than that to keep me from my best friend.”

“I guess I’ll have to transfer somewhere farther then.” Was all he could reply, snarky with a tight little smile. He didn’t understand why the title of ‘best friend’ was suddenly so annoying. _Because you’re in love with him, jackass._ So much for his carefully constructed plan. 

He texted Richie as he got on line to board his plane to Los Angeles, letting him know when and where he’d be when they landed before finding his seat. He turned off his phone, popped a Xanax, and tried his best to nap for as much of the six-hour flight as he could. 

When he got off of the plane and stepped outside into the hot California air, Eddie could instantly tell he’d be jetlagged later. It was bright and sunny, much more than New York was in March. He quickly shredded off his heavy jacket and hat, both to spare himself from the intense heat and the odd glares he received for being so bundled. 

A beat-up old Lexus pulled up slowly, rolling down the window to reveal Richie in his knock-off aviator sunglasses and a smug grin on his face. “Pickup for an Edward Kaspbrak?”

Eddie made a show of rolling his eyes, desperately trying not to let a smile or laugh slip while he moved to throw his bags in the back seat. It wasn’t long since he'd seen him, but every time he did it felt like so much had changed. It was pathetic how excited he was to see Richie again, taking his time getting his things in the back so he could just look at him.

He always found Richie attractive, even when he was a bucktooth middle schooler with thick frames too big for his face or a skinny high schooler with braces. But now he could really appreciate how beautiful he’d gotten, with his dark and curly hair curling over his forehead and down to the top of his neck. He was bigger now too, Eddie could tell, not just in height but with broad shoulders and a strong jawline connected to a thick neck that Eddie wanted to sink his teeth into. And his hands, oh his big hands, that gripped onto the steering wheel had him feeling all types of fuzzy.

“You miss me?” Richie lifted his eyes to look at him through the mirror, chuckling when Eddie flipped him off before shutting the door and moving to the passenger seat. “Cause I missed you.”

“Of course you did, I’m a delight.” He felt warm, and it wasn’t just the California heat.

“You sure are Eds.” He nodded, checking the mirror so he could pull away from the airport terminal. “Flight was good?”

“It was decent, I took a nap but not for as long as I wanted.”

“Mm, is that why you’re cranky?” He yelped at the swift smack to his arm. “Hey, it’s alright. I’ll tuck you in when we get back.”

Eddie huffed, leaning back in his seat. “Whatever…” He muttered, taking a deep breath through his nose. “I missed you too Rich.”

His stomach twisted at the warm smile that spread on Richie’s lips. That was before he immediately ruined it. “Aw, not as much as your mom I hope?”

“Jesus Christ.” He groaned, letting his head thump against the window. “Can you not?”

“How is she?”

“She hasn’t been doing too well.” Eddie hummed, shrugging. “I go home for the holidays, but she never likes it when I come here to visit.”

“But you still do it every year.” 

“I wouldn’t miss your birthday Richie.” He said bluntly. 

“I know.” He said quietly, pulling onto the highway. LAX was only around thirty minutes away from UCLA, but Richie insisted that Eddie take a nap so that he was fully energized for a party that some of Richie’s roommates were throwing for him. His birthday was the following day and Eddie wanted to confess before that, in the privacy of Richie’s room where he could leave if things didn’t go as planned. See, Eddie had a three-step plan:

Step 1: Come out as gay

Step 2: Confess his feelings

Step 3: Have feelings reciprocated, hopefully. Or at least be able to keep their relationship like normal without making it weird.

There were a few times throughout the car ride that Eddie felt compelled to come out of his fake nap and just blurt it out to get it over with. But he was scared, and it wouldn’t be fair to make Richie feel trapped. So he kept his head rested against the window, even though there was an itching desire coursing through him to keep talking to Richie and to never stop.

He really did miss him. For most people, facetiming at least twice every day and texting when they weren’t would be enough. But it was never enough, even when one of them was being especially insufferable. He decided that he couldn’t fake it anymore, sitting up in his seat and starting a conversation with Richie to catch up on school. They’d both be graduating from university, Eddie shortly after Richie. That meant that Richie’s birthday weekend would be the only time for Eddie to confess how he felt before they were moving on to bigger things. And if there was one thing that Eddie feared more than anything, it was the thought of Richie leaving him behind.

He watched Richie intently as he spoke about the classes he was finishing up, and of course how he was acing them all. He was smart, always had been despite the facade of being a babbling idiot half the time. Eddie was doing fairly well for himself too, with good grades and all. But it was clear by the stories Richie told that he had a better social life. Eddie didn’t care much for partying, finding alcohol mostly repulsive and casually hooking up… not an option. He had brought some guys back to his dorm to fool around with, trying to tell himself that it was good to experiment. But even the times that he had fun and was able to let loose, he wasn’t able to get far without thinking of Richie.

“What are your roommates planning for you?” He asked quietly, unable to control how uneasy he felt thinking about his other friends. He knew it was silly and borderline crazy, but he hated picturing Richie spending his time with a bunch of college guys and girls. 

“I think we are just going to hang out in one of their apartments, since it’s off-campus we’ll be able to have a lot more freedom to party it up, you know?” He looked over to Eddie cautiously before looking back at the road. “We don’t have to stay long, I was really only going to go since they planned it. To be nice. But I won’t keep you there-”

“No.” He cut him off. “I think it’s nice, I’m glad they planned something for you. Maybe it will be fun.” He smiled reassuringly, hoping that he was right. “If you were just stuck with me all weekend it might get a little boring.”

“You never bore me Eds.” He said quickly, a little too serious for Eddie’s fragile heart. When they pulled onto campus, Richie had his own assigned parking spot in front of his dorm, a newly renovated building with beautiful front doors and windows. Eddie was anxious knowing that soon he’d have Richie alone in his room, where he planned to finally get everything he was feeling off of his chest.

“This is the place.” Richie sang, stopping in front of his door, pausing with the key in the door. “I’m really happy you’re here Eds.”

“Me too.” Eddie swallowed, feeling his face heat up significantly. He followed Richie inside, immediately hearing a few guys laugh from the living area just straight ahead. The noise fizzled out, and the tv lowered when Richie made his way up to the couch. “Hey guys. Eddie, you’ve met James and Anthony.”

“Hey Eddie.” One boy, with sandy blonde hair piped up, James. Anthony offered him a head nod and a smile. He waved sheepishly back at them, thankful for Richie’s broad shoulders providing a shield for him to hide behind. He’d met them briefly before, but they never really exchanged much more than a nice greeting. Richie had made more and more friends each year, and it was harder for Eddie to keep up with names and faces.

“Where’s Ronny?” Richie asked, nodding to one of the closed doors.

“With Kayla.” James wiggled his eyebrows, elbowing Anthony. “He said he’d be back later. She’s coming along though, she’s got him on a leash.”

“A whole collar and everything.” Anthony snickered, elbowing him back.

“Don’t kink shame, boys.” Richie laughed, grabbing Eddie’s arm and leading him to the other closed door, presumably his. “They’re good guys.”

“I can tell.” Eddie laughed nervously. This was it. It was his time to sit Richie down and come clean. When Richie finally got his door open, Eddie first thought about the last time he was there, for Richie’s last birthday, but he didn’t really get the chance to examine how much his room had changed.

Laying down, in Richie’s bed, was a girl. Dressed in only a tank top and a pair of boxers. 

She sat up quickly, rubbing her eyes before grinning up at Richie. “You’re back early.”

“What a pleasant surprise.” He chuckled, tossing his jacket at her. “Reed, this is Eddie.”

Eddie stared at her with wide eyes, watching her shift out of the bed and walk the short distance towards him. She held out her hand with a wide smile, and Eddie took it with a shaky hand. His palms were beginning to sweat, but his blood was ice cold. “Nice to meet you Eddie, Richie’s told me so much about you!”

He smiled at her politely, his lips tight as the rest of his body vibrated. “Hi.”

She let his hand go and turned back to Richie, nudging his arm. “You ready for the party later? It’s at Dylan’s right?”

“You bet.” He poked her side playfully and Eddie almost fainted in his spot. “We’ll be over later, I just wanted Eds to get settled and we’ll head over.” 

“See ya there.” She winked at him, picking up what seemed to be her sweatpants and jacket from the floor. “Nice meeting you!” She said kindly to Eddie. He maintained his smirk as he watched her close the door behind her, his eyes flicking back to Richie as he flopped onto his bed. 

“You up for a nap before we leave Eds?”

“Oh, um.” He swallowed, kicking his suitcase lightly. “I’m probably just going to take a shower if that’s alright. Still kinda gross from the plane.”

“Of course.” He hummed, arms crossed behind his head and his legs spread like a starfish, watching him dig through his luggage for a fresh pair of clothes. “Gotta get all of those plane germs off.” He teased. 

“Ha ha.” Eddie said dryly, grabbing one of the folded towels out of his suitcase along with his travel bag of toiletries before heading off into the shower. He inched along the wall to avoid having to speak with Richie’s roommates, quickly slipping into the bathroom so he could have a proper panic attack out of sight.

He crumpled against the shower wall, desperately trying to catch his breath. The water was soothing on his burning skin and so were the tears streaming down his face. Richie had always alluded to the fact that he was into guys, more explicitly after they graduated high school. Richie had dated girls in the past, but he’d never mentioned having a girlfriend whatsoever. Eddie’s heart ached so bad that it was hard for him to stand up and get dressed, and even harder for him to walk back into Richie’s room with a straight face.

Richie always saw through him though. He looked like he just woke up from a nap, roused by Eddie closing the door behind him. He sat up quickly, rubbing his eyes before looking him up and down. “You feel okay?”

Eddie swallowed and nodded quickly, but it wasn’t convincing enough. 

“You sure? You look a little off.” He squinted at him, sitting up with his feet planted on the floor. “Eds, if you don’t want to go tonight we don’t have to. We can just stay here and-”

“Shut up.” He said a little harsher than he meant to. “It’s your celebration asshole, we aren’t missing it. Plus what if they have cake?” It was a weak attempt at a save, but it seemed to work somewhat.

Richie raised an eyebrow, and Eddie could see him chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Okay, only if you really want. No promises on the cake though. That’ll be tomorrow hopefully.”

“Hopefully.” He forced out a laugh. “When are we leaving?”

“My buddy Dylan’s place is right down the block, we were all gonna walk as a group. I don’t plan to stay too long, it’s just for some fun.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “Then I’m all yours for the night cutie.”

“You’re insufferable.” Eddie sighed, his stomach churning dangerously at the pet name. He felt sick wondering what pet names he used with his shiny new girlfriend. “Is this okay?” He gestured to his clothes to distract from how red he felt his face getting. He chose a pair of skinny jeans that weren’t too tight and a baby blue polo shirt, nice but not too nice. 

Richie stood up from his bed to look down on him. The height difference wasn’t too dramatic, but it was enough to make Eddie feel dizzy. He grinned down at him, looking him over before booping his nose. “Very cute. Cute, cute, cute.”

Eddie swatted his hand away, relishing in the laugher hitting his ears. “You’re the worst.”

“Get it all out now spaghetti, tomorrow is my birthday.” Richie fought his arms to boop his nose again, smirking at the snarl he got in response. “That means you have to be nice to me.”

“Over my dead body.” He huffed, turning away from him. “Touch my nose one more fucking time and I’ll end you.”

“That’s not the worst way you’ve threatened me, I’d say we are making progress.” He led Eddie back into the living room where James and Anthony were waiting for them. Reed was there again too, smiling up at them both when they emerged in the room. 

“Ronny will meet us there.” She winked at Richie. “With Kayla.”

“Yeah, yeah I heard. She’s got him on a leash.” He snickered. “You’re gonna kink shame too?”

“You know I wouldn’t.”

“Well you seem pretty vanilla to me.”

“You suck, Tozier.”

“I sure do, and you swallow.” It was met with a chorus of laughter and ‘oooo’, and Eddie felt like he was going to puke if he had to listen to them banter back and forth any longer. Luckily he didn’t have to, and they all piled out of the dorm and walked the short distance down the street to Dylan’s apartment off-campus.

Eddie was never one for parties. He was glad to see that there weren’t many people there, but he scrunched his nose at the familiar smell of alcohol and weed dancing around the room. Dylan was fairly nice, mostly chatting with the other guys with his arm around his girlfriend, Jessica. He was the definition of the jock who still cared about his studies, built like a bull but still a gentle giant. He got to meet Ronny too, and his girlfriend Kayla with the leash. 

There wasn’t really a leash, but Eddie could see what they were talking about. They were the couple that remained on top of each other the entire time and engaged in way too much PDA. James, Anthony, Reed, and a few other people that Eddie didn’t bother to talk to were gathered around the snack table. There wasn’t any cake as Richie had predicted, but there were plenty of chips and dips to keep the people drinking satisfied.

Richie and Eddie sat down on the two-person loveseat. To Eddie’s delight, Reed didn’t come by them much, and when she did it was often to ask them if they wanted anything to drink. Richie answered Eddie’s silent prayers with a head shake and a smile, and Eddie also declined. Richie sipped slowly from a cup of punch while Eddie settled for a beer. It tasted disgusting, but it did help loosen him up a little.

“How did you two meet?”

Richie’s eyes blinked at him slowly. “Who, Reed? We took a psychology class together. She helped me get an A, she’s really sweet.” He grinned, and it made Eddie want to scream. “We kept in touch and now she’s part of the group. It’s been a little less than a year I think.” 

_A little less than a year._ “Cool.” Eddie nodded, squeezing the life out of his beer bottle. _Maybe if you had some balls and told him how you felt earlier, you wouldn’t be too late._ “I’m happy for you.” He lied, feeling sadder than he’d felt since the day they’d parted for college. Partly because she had what he couldn’t, but also because Richie had never even mentioned her.

“Thanks man. They’re all good people.” He nodded to the group.

“Hey Richie!” Dylan tossed a little baggie at him, shooting him a thumbs up. He unraveled it, inspecting four fat joints. “You down for a pre-birthday sesh?”

Richie’s eyes flicked down to Eddie, who just shrugged. “Your call Richie, don’t let me stop you.” Richie patted his shoulder, nodding at Dylan before he stood up to join the rest of the group.

“Coming?”

“You go ahead, I’m gonna- use the bathroom.” Eddie stood up with him, following to where Jessica pointed down the hall. He stood in there longer than he needed to, but he hated watching Richie smoke. Not because he had anything against weed, if anything, he was ecstatic that Richie smoked it instead of cigarettes, but he didn’t want to make Richie look like a total loser. It was clear that Richie had made a bunch of new friends, and he’d finally worked his way in with some popular people after being bullied all of middle school and the majority of high school. And Eddie didn’t want to ruin that for him.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, Richie was hot stuff now. He was the whole package: smart, funny, attractive. No wonder he was able to score a beautiful girlfriend who happened to also be funny and smart. And she was just as sickeningly sweet as Richie, which made Eddie hate her even more. Part of him knew he was being petty; she had been nothing but nice and welcoming to him. But he couldn’t help the fire in his soul when he walked back into the main area to see her and Richie sharing a joint. 

“Eds, you want?” He coughed, holding it up. Eddie shook his head and Richie handed it back to Reed and scooted over so he could sit next to him. “We were gonna play spin the bottle. You know, cause we are definitely not all in our twenties or anything.”  
  


“Yeah, definitely.” Eddie snorted, shaking his head. Ronny and Kayla decided not to play, both of them drunk and busy making out in the corner. But there was a healthy amount of other people that offered to play, Richie and his roommates being a handful of them. Eddie figured that things would turn really dicey quickly considering that people who were in relationships volunteered to play. But surprisingly everyone was having fun and no feelings were hurt. Well, Eddie’s feelings were always hurt when someone else got to touch Richie.

Dylan landed on Anthony, Anthony landed on some guy named Tim, Tim landed on Jessica, Jessica landed on Sally, Sally landed on Reed, and Reed (of fucking course) landed on Richie. Eddie hoped that Richie didn’t catch the scowl on his face when their lips met, her pretending to gag and him shoving her over gently. With his luck, Eddie was sure that when it was Richie’s turn to spin it would land right back on her. Because the universe hated Eddie Kaspbrak. 

But it didn’t, and Richie spun it directly towards him. Eddie wasn’t sure if that was any better. The entire group's eyes fell on him, and he felt like he was going to implode, especially with the smug look on Richie’s face. “Eds.” 

“No.” He shook his head, leaning away from Richie, whose face was rapidly closing in. “I’m not playing.”

“Oh c’mon, you’re really going to make me spin it again?” He laughed, but Eddie could see the twinge of hurt behind his glasses. “It would be cruel for you to subject some innocent soul to these deadly lips.”

“Yeah Eddie, take one for the team.” Reed laughed, looking past Richie at him and Eddie swore he could feel his eye twitch.

“Yeah right, you love these lips.” Richie stuck his tongue out to her before turning back to Eddie expectantly. 

“I’m not kissing you Richie.” Eddie stammered, even though he ached so deeply to. But not like this. Not during a silly game where his girlfriend was sitting right next to him. “You- your breath reeks of weed.” That seemed to soften the blow, because Richie and several other people in the group bubbled into a fit of laughter. 

But Richie was never one to give up easily, especially when all eyes were on him. Not that he ever knew when to give up, proven by how he tapped his cheek with a wink. “I’ll hold my breath.”

Eddie’s eyes flicked from the spot he tapped, to Reed, to the rest of the group. He took a big swig of his drink for courage and leaned in quickly to peck Richie’s cheek. The group cooed and teased, and Eddie felt himself retreat into his own skin as the next person picked up the bottle. Richie leaned back, seemingly satisfied, slinging his arms over Reed and Eddie.

Eddie had a skill for dissociating, and he managed to completely zone out for a time unknown to him. He probably could’ve stayed like that for a while longer if it weren’t for Richie standing up abruptly, jostling his entire body. “Hey guys, we’re gonna head out. Thanks for everything, it was a blast.”

“Santa Monica tomorrow for the big day?” Dylan raised his eyebrows at Richie excitedly from his spot on the couch, a drunk Jessica falling asleep on his lap. 

“Fuck yeah dude!” Richie pointed at him. “Thanks for today, really appreciate it.”

“Anytime, brother.” He nodded. “See ya tomorrow.”

“Night everyone!” Richie dragged Eddie out into the hallway and back outside. It was dark out, but Eddie checked his phone and was surprised at how early it still was. 

“Why are we leaving so soon?” Eddie asked once they were a safe distance away from the building, feeding an irrational fear of any windows being open for them to be heard.

“I could tell I was losing you in there.” He grinned down at him. “Plus, I’m beat anyways.”

“Sorry.”

“Huh? For what”

“Your friends are gonna think I’m so lame for us leaving early.” 

“Dude I chose to leave, you didn’t make me.” He snorted. “Plus, you really think I’d be friends with people who would think that?”

Eddie didn’t respond. He _hoped_ that Richie wouldn’t be friends with anyone like that, but Richie was kind and trusting to a fault sometimes. The short walk back to Richie’s dorm was mostly quiet, but Eddie was more than happy to just enjoy the warm California air. He’d considered following Richie to LA once upon a time, mainly just for the weather and proximity to Richie. But NYU gave him a scholarship too good to pass up and had a far better program for him. NYU did have a program that allowed students to study in LA, but not for his particular degree. Because again, the universe hates Eddie Kaspbrak. 

Some days he still thought about it though, being able to always be near Richie. Especially when he was feeling cold and lonely in New York. Which was pretty much all of the time. When they first started college, they would at least get summers together back in Maine, but once Richie was accepted to stay in campus housing full time, Eddie had no other reason to go back to Maine. Against his mother’s wishes, he got a summer internship that allowed him to stay in New York, letting him avoid leaving campus either. 

It worked somewhat. He at least got to facetime Richie a lot and earn some money, all while staying away from his mother. The time difference was tough at first, but he and Richie figured out a fairly decent schedule. But the best days by far were the ones where he and Richie were able to be together in person. They’d reserve a weekend at least, switching between New York and LA every summer. That, and they’d fly out to each other for their birthdays. 

So they were doing a fairly good job of making the long-distance thing work, much better than other people Eddie knew about. It did cost a lot of money in plane tickets each year, but it was always worth it. 

“You still want the wall?” Richie nodded towards his bed once they made it back into his room. “I know you have a weird thing about a killer coming in while we sleep. And I know you’d rather me be the closest one to the door so I get murdered first.”

“That’s only partly why.” Eddie laughed, stopping once he glanced at the bed. “I’m sleeping with you tonight?”

Richie flopped onto the bed, looking up at him with a confused look. “Duh. We always sleep together when you’re here. Did you hit your head and forget?”

“But what about-” _what about your girlfriend?_

“About what?” Richie smirked. “C’mon I promise I’ll brush my teeth if my breath really bothers you that much.”

“The fact that you weren’t planning on brushing your teeth already is alarming.”

“Say what you want, but my teeth are flawless.” He grinned, like he was proving a point.

“You had braces. That’s cheating.”

“Whatever dude, are you coming or not?” He patted the bed amusingly. Eddie sheepishly toed off his shoes so that he could dig through his suitcase. “You’re not really taking another shower are you?”

“No.” He hissed. “You’re not really sleeping in jeans are you?” He shot back.

“Touche.” He sighed, sitting up in bed to peel off his t-shirt. Eddie wanted to turn away, wanted to avoid checking him out. But he’s not perfect. He watched him carefully, slowly mirroring his moves so that he could take his shirt off and slide a clean one on. He folded it carefully and put it in his travel laundry bag as Richie moved on to his pants.

He clumsily undid the belt, kicking the jeans off of his legs and tossing them into the hamper across the room. They both normally slept in their boxers, but it didn’t make it any easier when to see Richie in his tight boxer briefs with little frogs printed all over it. Such an idiot. _A cute idiot._

Richie disappeared to go brush his teeth, thankfully giving Eddie time to strip down to his own boxer briefs (boring black ones) and slip underneath the covers. He tried to ignore how wrong it felt, being in his bed when his girlfriend had just been in it not too long ago. He trusted that if they had… done anything on it, that Richie wouldn’t let him sleep in it without washing the sheets. He didn’t want to think about it too much.

“I’m glad we didn’t drink a lot.” Richie chirped when he walked back into the room. “Dylan is known for strong drinks, you would’ve hated the punch.”

“It’s too sugary anyway.” Eddie huffed. “If it makes you feel any better, the beer sucked too.”

“Yeah that makes me feel better.” He teased, flicking off the light and Eddie could hear the sound of him setting his glasses down onto the desk. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” He whispered, tensing a little bit when the bed dipped and Richie’s body filled the space with warmth. 

“You’re okay with this right?” He hummed. “Comfortable?”

Richie asked him every single time they got into bed together, as if Eddie would ever say no. He never did. “Yeah.”

“Cool.” He yawned. “Ready to be nice to me tomorrow?”

“I’ll try my best.” He snorted, turning onto his side, trying to get a better look at him through the darkness. “For you.”

“That’s sweet.” He chuckled, and Eddie could tell how close he was by the breath hitting his face, minty and fresh. “Goodnight Eds.”

Eddie tried not to squirm at how low his voice sounded, laced with sleep. “Night Rich.” He swallowed, turning onto his back so that he could keep some of his dignity. It always felt natural, being in bed with Richie. Sure, his legs were long and he snored, and he was very cuddly. Even so, it was all very nice. But Eddie still felt bad for wanting more, more than he would and could ever have.

One great perk of sleeping with Richie, platonically of course, was the quality of sleep that Eddie always got. Whether it was in person or over facetime, sleeping with Richie near him never failed to help him doze off. He was able to be at ease, able to relax. It was no different this time, and Eddie fell asleep just like he fell in love with Richie.

Slowly, then all at once.

He planned on waking up before Richie so that he could surprise him with breakfast and his present, but like everything else in his plan, it fell through. He blinked his eyes open, wincing slightly at the bright California sun shining through the window. He felt rested, rejuvenated even as he stretched his limbs, turning his head to find Richie staring at him sleepily. 

“Creep.” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “Quit watching me sleep.”

“I thought you were going to be nice to me today.” He grinned, raising his hand from above the covers to flick a stray piece of hair off of Eddie’s forehead. “You said that you’d try your best.”

Eddie blinked at him slowly, desperately trying not to lean more into his hand. The bed was warm, especially when he was covered completely by the large blanket with Richie’s legs pressed up against his. He nudged his foot lightly so he could inch closer. _I’ll show him nice._

He scooted closer until he was right next to him, turning so that he could bury his head into the crook of his neck and wrap his arms around him. Richie tensed at first, and Eddie was about to quickly retreat until a hand came up to cradle the back of his head. His long fingers played with the messy hair there, combing through it gently as they both relaxed into the hug. “Happy birthday Richie.” Eddie sighed quietly, listening to Richie’s heartbeat and praying that he couldn’t hear his. 

“Thanks Eds.” He nuzzled into the hair at the top of his head, and Eddie swore that he felt him press a small kiss there. He wrapped his arms around Richie a little tighter, relishing in the feeling for as long as possible while simultaneously fighting the urge to blurt out everything he’d been holding back. But as much as he was jealous of Richie’s relationship with Reed, he didn’t want to be ‘that guy.’

He pulled back gently, burning at how close he was to Richie’s face. Richie was just looking at him, like he was searching for something. Eddie cleared his throat before Richie could say anything, twisting out of his strong arms. “I have something for you.”

“Oh yeah?” Richie raised an eyebrow, the previous serious look on his face slowly replaced by a smirk. “What could it be?”

“I’ll show you if you get out of the way.”

“Mm, just climb over me.” He yawned, stretching his arms over the blanket. “Go on, spider monkey.”

“Fuck you, I’m tossing your gift into the garbage.” He scoffed, but he found himself moving the blanket aside so he could swing his legs over Richie’s thick torso. He looked away so he didn’t see how it looked to have Richie under him. He had to dig down through his bag to grab the small wrapped cylinder, placing gently onto Richie’s chest. “Um. You can open it now if you want.”

“Are you giving me permission to open my present?” He asked smugly. “On my birthday?”

“I’m going to suffocate you with a pillow.”

“So much for being nice to me today!” He laughed. “First you hug me and then you threaten my life. I couldn’t have wished for a better start to my birthday.” If he noticed how much that made Eddie blush, he didn’t mention it. He scooted up a little further so that he was resting upright on the pillows, long fingers peeling at the colorful birthday paper. He picked it out at the store when he saw the crazy patterns and colors that clashed, reminding him of Richie.

Richie still wore clothing that was… _out there._ But he made it work, actually matching patterns that most people could never pull off. Eddie considered it to be another one of his many talents. He swallowed hard as he watched the paper slowly be torn away, carefully analyzing Richie’s face.

He had his tongue slightly poking out between his lips in concentration as he tossed the paper to the side, tilting his head like a puppy as he examined it. His facial expression was both a look of interest and confusion. “It’s a lamp.” Eddie blurted, the silence driving him crazy. “A long-distance lamp. I have one in my dorm room that’s already connected to this one. When you touch it you can light it any color, and mine will light up the same color.” He explained. “So when you see yours light up you’ll know… that I’m thinking about you.”

Richie’s expression turned wobbly, and he rubbed the lamp tenderly, blinking his eyes quickly. “Eds…”

“Jesus Richie, please don’t start crying.”

“Too late.” He coughed out a wet laugh, rubbing at his eyes quickly. “Thank you, this is really fucking cute. You little sap.” He placed it carefully on his nightstand so he could plug it in, ripping the blanket off of him so he could swing his legs out of bed. He stood up, moving to Eddie quickly, knocking into him so hard that they almost fell over.

Eddie hugged him back, not bothering to fight the smile on his face when he heard Richie’s little sniffles by his ear. “You’re welcome. Happy birthday, again.” He rubbed his back gently, letting himself relax back into Richie’s tight grip once again. But not too relaxed. “So, the beach-”

“Oh it’s um- it’s Santa Monica. The other guys will probably get there early to set things up but we don’t have to be there till it’s a little later.”

“It’s already noon.” 

“Right you are Eddio.” He pulled away to boop his nose. “I like to sleep in, especially on my big day. You’ll drive with me, it’s only about ten minutes from here.”

“What about Reed?” Eddie asked, smacking his hand away and immediately regretting it. “And… Anthony and James.” It was a poor save, but Richie just shrugged as he dug through his dresser for a change of clothes. 

“I think they are gonna carpool with some of the other guys. Reed might go with the other girls, I don’t even know who will be there if I’m being honest.” He held up a pair of blue jeans and a strawberry pink shirt with little birthday cakes and candles littered all over it. “What do you think?”

“That’s very you.” He laughed, shaking his head as he searched for an outfit of his own. He settled for a collared dark green shirt and black jeans that left his ankles exposed. The weather was nice, so he settled for a pair of ankle socks that kept them bare and slid on the pair of Doc Martens that Richie had got him for his birthday. 

Richie rolled up his jeans a little bit onto his ankles, and his shirt hugged tightly around his arms, unlike most of his other baggy button-ups. He looked good, and it made Eddie’s heart hurt. The ride to the beach wasn’t long, as promised. They’d spent the few hours before they left watching old reruns of the Twilight Zone, sitting close together on the couch with Richie insisting that popcorn for breakfast was totally fine. 

Eddie was somewhat excited about the beach. It had been a while since he’d been to one let alone with Richie. His mother never took him, of course, but he had plenty of memories of going to the lake with the Toziers when he was a kid. He went to some New York beaches with a few college friends once or twice, but it wasn’t the same. 

The California air was not as humid as the heat in New York, and Eddie could already tell that the water was much warmer too. Not that he’d be going in, he’d seen Jaws. Swimming while it was getting dark was just asking for it, so he followed Richie like a lost puppy around the little area that his friends had set up. 

It was actually pretty cute. Richie’s friends had dragged beach chairs, bean bags, and towels onto the sand around the small bonfire that they had going. There was a small table with cupcakes, chips, punch, and more beer. To Eddie’s relief, there were no rounds of pot-smoking, so he didn’t feel as left out with a beer in his hand. 

He sat next to Richie on a beach chair, easing back into it, content with the warmth of the fire on his face. Richie was at least three cupcakes in, promising Eddie that he wasn’t going to drink much since he was planning on driving them back. They both settled for beer, deciding that whatever was in that punch bowl was going to be asking for too much.

A few of Richie’s friends ran down the beach after singing him happy birthday to play frisbee, which Eddie didn’t mind. It meant more time alone with Richie. A few other people hovered the snack table, occasionally turning around to look at them as Richie and Eddie swapped loud bursts of laughter.

“Mm you’ve got eyes on you Eds.” Richie nodded at the two girls who were clearly stealing glances and giggling to themselves. “Maybe you’ll return to New York with a girlfriend.”

“Unlikely.” He snorted more to himself, not expecting Richie to push it further. 

“What, not a fan of long-distance?” He teased, sipping his beer loudly. “It’s okay, me neither.”

Eddie was sure that if he squeezed his bottle any tighter he’d break the glass and end up with stitches, so he placed it back down onto the sand. He wasn’t sure why, but the comment struck a chord. Maybe it was because he and Richie _were_ long distance. Maybe it was because even if they weren’t, he still wouldn’t have Richie, not in the way he wanted. “No, it’s because I don’t _want_ a girlfriend.” He spat a little too harshly. _“I’m gay.”_

Even if Richie hadn’t fallen completely silent, Eddie wasn’t sure he’d be able to hear him over the rushing in his ears. He tapped his foot on the sand, scowling both at himself and the thought of how much sand was going to be in his shoes. He saw Richie turn to him out of the corner of his eye, and he braced himself for a smart ass comment.

Richie was best at using humor to fill awkward moments, or moments where he was caught off guard, which he clearly was by the bugged eyed look behind his glasses. It was too late to take anything back, so he turned to him, saying _fuck it_ and locking eyes with him. 

_Now or never._

Part of him felt relief at the weight lifted off of his shoulders, it was out in the open now. Not his feelings yet, but this was the first step. Another part of him felt violently ill. But there was an eerie calm as he waited for Richie to say something. He expected him to say _something._

What he didn’t expect was for Richie to nod at him with a meek “cool” passing through his lips, barely a breath, before he stood up abruptly and walked off to the snack table. Eddie watched him, his heart stopping as he picked up another cupcake and walking further past the table, leaving Eddie completely behind. 

Eddie sat there for what could’ve been fifteen seconds or fifteen minutes. One of the guys walked over to fuel the fire, which started to die down, and asked if he was okay. That’s when it finally hit like a freight train that Eddie was _not_ okay. 

It wasn’t okay that he lived in New York while Richie lived in California. It wasn’t okay that his love for Richie was one-sided. It wasn’t okay that Richie had a girlfriend. And it really wasn’t okay that Eddie was feeling indescribably alone. He got up without a word to the guy, nodding quickly before fleeing to the shoreline, collapsing on his way there. He spat out a mouthful of sand, punching the ground angrily and attempting to shake the sand that landed in his hair.

“Woah, Eddie.” He heard from behind him, whipping around to see Reed’s gentle smile. “You okay? Here-” She offered her hand to him and he lurched back like she was pointing a gun at him. Actually, being shot would’ve been better than having to look her in the eyes. Better than feeling the type of pain that he was feeling.

“Leave me alone.” He snapped. “I don’t need your help.”

She retracted her hand quickly, and he almost felt bad. “Oh- okay. Sorry.”

He knew he was being a little dramatic, it wasn’t her fault. But he got up quickly, turning away from her before anything else could be said so he could continue to the shoreline. He found a lonely little spot and sat down quickly, trying to time his breathing with the waves. Coincidently, he also had waves of tears flowing from his eyes. He had no idea when it started, but he hoped that no one had seen it.

He sat with his legs crossed, ignoring how his jeans strained, and he rocked himself back and forth soothingly. He closed his eyes, trying his best to focus on the fresh ocean air and calming waves instead of his urge to throw himself into the water and drown. It was going well, until he heard the soft sifting of sand from behind him and he nearly blacked out.

“Hey man.” Eddie didn’t recognize the voice, which was a blessing to know that it wasn’t Richie or Reed or one of his roommates. “Whatcha doin over here?”

Eddie felt them sit beside him, and he fluttered his eyes open to see a blonde-haired boy looking at him with a funny look. He was somewhat familiar, and Eddie was sure that he was one of the people playing spin the bottle at the previous party. Tim, he remembered. “Um. I’m meditating.” He said slowly, thankful that his voice didn’t sound entirely distraught. 

“Interesting.” Tim chuckled, digging a little spot in the sand so he could place his cup there. “Am I interrupting?”

_Yes._ “Uh I guess not. I was… finishing up.”

“Lucky me then.” He smiled. He had a nice smile, friendly and warm with teeth that gleamed under the moonlight. He was shirtless, which made Eddie feel a little weird, but they were at a beach after all. “So are you gonna come back to the group or sit here by yourself?”  
  


“Well I was having a good time here imagining myself in the Jaws movie.” He shrugged, silently wishing he had another drink. “You know that scene where they are at the beach at night and the girl gets eaten?” 

“That’s dark man.” He laughed, shaking his head. “Any girl in particular you were imagining?”

Eddie’s eyes scanned the beach for Reed, but he couldn’t find her. _She doesn’t deserve to be eaten by a shark you asshole._ “No. Maybe you could take her place.” He didn’t mean it really, but he forgot for a moment that he wasn’t bantering with Richie.

Thankfully, Tim’s face split into a wide grin and he let his head fall back. “That’s rough.” It was then that Eddie realized why these people were Richie’s friends, and that they really were cool for the most part. They were all a lot like him, funny, smart, and good looking too. No one could truly compare, but he saw it now. “Hey, you’re pretty cute.”

“Oh, thanks.” Eddie stammered, not expecting it. Funny, smart, good looking, _and_ flirty. He didn’t even register that Tim was leaning into him until their lips brushed. It was a bad kiss, too rough and not wet enough. It felt all wrong, kissing this stranger. But Eddie was hurt, rejected, and alone. So sue him, he licked his lips carefully and let Tim try again. The second time was better, but it still felt wrong, and the taste of the toxic punch on his tongue was disgusting. But he ignored it, wishing in the back of his head that Richie would see.

His wish was answered when a loud gasp cut them off, sending them both scrambling to stand up. The first thing Eddie noticed was that Tim wasn’t much taller than him, which made him even less attracted to him. Eddie wasn’t short, he was average, but he normally liked taller men… like Richie. He liked Richie, not Tim who was only a centimeter or two taller than him.

The second thing he noticed is that he was staring directly at Richie, standing in front of them with a very unhappy look on his face. “Eddie, what the fuck is this?”

“Eddie?” Tim repeated, both confused and somewhat horrified. “Oh shit, you’re Richie’s Eddie? Fuck I’m so sorry-”

Richie pointed an accusing finger at him, silencing him effectively. “Dude, he’s been drinking.” He hissed, despite Eddie only having one beer and a few sips of Richie’s. “We’ll talk about it later. Eddie, we’re leaving.” He whipped around, leaving Eddie and Tim behind. Tim shot him an apologetic glance and jogged back down to the other guys, and Eddie felt his legs wobble underneath him.

“What if I don’t want to?” He said just loud enough for Richie to hear it. It stopped him in his tracks, and it was almost comical how slowly he turned around, dumbfounded. 

“What?” He asked incredulously. 

“What if I don’t want to leave yet!”

“Well I’m not just going to leave you!” He yelled back at him, flinging his hands back up into the air.

“YOU ALREADY DID!” Eddie screamed at him, voice booming loud enough that he was sure people could hear him from all the way down the beach. Richie blinked at him, silently. Eddie stomped towards him, shoving past him as he continued walking across the beach. “Fine. Say your goodbyes and thank yous or whatever, I’ll be waiting in the car.” 

He didn’t look back to see if Richie was following. He kept walking, avoiding everyone on his way until he finally got to Richie’s car. He kicked the tire in frustration after tugging on the handle to no avail. Richie was quick to meet him, unlocking the car and hopping in, glaring at him when Eddie slammed the door behind him. “Dude, what the fuck is your problem!”

“Nothing!” He hissed, turning to the window as Richie put the car in drive. 

“Well obviously it’s something!” He huffed. “First you disappear and then you’re making out with one of my friends-”

“Are you serious?” He almost snapped his neck with how fast he turned his head. “ _You_ blew me off!” He laughed to himself, even though it was far from funny. “Whatever. Glad it got your attention-” 

“My attention? Eddie you always have my fucking attention, is it ever enough?” He scoffed, gripping the steering wheel so tightly that Eddie could hear it. “You know what, I can’t believe you right now. You wanted to make me jealous, congratulations, you won! You successfully ruined my birthday.”

He didn’t even look at Eddie when he said it, which was probably a good thing because if Eddie had to see him look at him with such disappointment he would’ve tuck and rolled out of the car. It hurt, but he didn’t let it show. He was still angry about Richie leaving him hanging after being so open and honest. It all cut deep.

The car ride was short, but the silence made it feel extra long. Neither of them spoke from the car to Richie’s empty apartment, but Eddie could sense the thick tension and he could feel his emotions boiling over. As soon as he stepped through the door, he made a beeline to Richie’s room. He grabbed his suitcase roughly, slamming it onto the bed and unzipping it so it laid open. 

“What are you doing?” Richie asked from the doorway, sounding tired and alarmed at the same time. Eddie didn’t respond, he just continued shoving things into the suitcase and messily stuffing in his laundry bag filled with dirty clothes. “Eddie, stop.”

“Fuck off Richie.” He forced out, but it came out all broken. “I-I’m leaving.”

“Oh yeah? Where are you gonna go?!”

“Somewhere that’s not here. I leave tomorrow anyway, I’ll find a fucking hotel and Uber to the airport…”

“Stop!” Richie yelled, closing the suitcase so forcefully that Eddie flinched. His eyes softened and he grabbed his hands gently. “Eds, I’m sorry-” Eddie ripped his hands away, folding them under his arms. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I just- what did I do? Is it really because I left you at the bonfire?”

“I rarely get to spend time with you Richie!” He cracked, sitting down onto Richie’s bed. “I come here every year and we always spend it together, it’s my time to see you. If you really wanted to spend your birthday with your friends and your fucking girlfriend I just wish you would’ve told me. And then I come out to you and you’re either disgusted or just don’t give a fuck. And it hurts Richie, it all fucking hurts because I miss you like all of the time and I can’t do much about it since we are three thousand miles apart!” He buried his face into his hands, shaking his head like it would help him will the tears not to start.

He didn’t like crying in front of Richie. Not that he was scared to be vulnerable, but he was scared of looking weak. Pathetic. He heard Richie fumble to start a sentence several times before he finally spoke. “Eddie, what? I…” He inhaled sharply, shuffling in his spot anxiously. “Reed is NOT my girlfriend… Eds, _I’m_ gay.”

Eddie lifted his face from his hands, catching the absolutely bewildered look on Richie’s face. And in the short amount of eye contact, Eddie went through all stages of grief at once before finally landing at acceptance. Acceptance that he was an absolute moron.

“Oh my God.” He whispered, covering his face again so that he could hide how mortified he was. “I’m such a fucking idiot.” He trembled on the bed, hardly registering the feeling of his feet on the floor. It felt like he was floating, weightless with relief but also bursting with embarrassment at the same time. Like a balloon about to pop.

He felt the bed dip down next to him, a hand coming to rest on the middle of his back. “Hey, it’s fine. You’re not an idiot.” He said gently. “If anything I’m a fucking idiot.” He stroked short patterns on the back of his shirt, and it felt like electricity through the fabric that lit up Eddie’s skin. At least he didn’t have a girlfriend to worry about it anymore. “Hey man, look at me. You’re breaking my heart over here.”

Eddie sniffled into his palms, wiping at his eyes aggressively before turning to Richie slightly. Not all the way, that would be giving too much. “Richie, I’m sorry.”

“No no no.” He shook his head. “Don’t. The only reason I didn’t come out to you right then and there when you told me was because I got scared. Plus, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. That’s the last thing that I wanted when I came out, but I handled it so wrong and I’m sorry.” He tugged Eddie a little closer so that they could knock their heads together, resting on each other. “I only went to these stupid parties because my friends spent time trying to make my birthday special, but you know I would rather spend every second with you. You have to know that. I wanted to spend this entire weekend with you, shit, there were times where I didn’t even want to waste time using the bathroom.”

“You could’ve told me.” Eddie sniffed, laughing lightly. “I’m your best friend.”

“Yeah, you are. So you could’ve told me too, you know.” He hummed. “I knew it would be okay but I was just scared. In the back of my mind, there was this fear that maybe you _wouldn’t_ be okay with it. While we were growing up your mom was pretty clear on where she stood with the whole gay thing so I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

“Don’t ever compare me to my mom again.” He said bluntly, but it was also soft and careful. Richie wasn’t entirely wrong, Sonia was extremely transparent about her stance regarding homosexuality. It was partially why Eddie still struggled with the repercussions of internalized homophobia. It was difficult sometimes, to accept himself, to love who he was. But it was never, ever, an issue with Richie. To love and accept him was a privilege. “Richie, I love you.”

“I love you too, Eds.” He said warmly, squeezing him a little tighter.

Eddie shook his head, pulling away so he could look into Richie’s eyes when he said it again. “No, I _love_ you.” He repeated, feeling it pour out from a deep part of him that he’d be hiding for so long. A part of him that always ached to be free but was constrained by fear. “You’ll never lose me.”

Richie looked down at him almost like he couldn’t believe his own ears. He opened and shut his mouth before inhaling a long, shaking breath and letting it back out way too fast. “Eddie, please don’t do this to me.”

“Do what?” He whispered, hardly able to get the words out past the lump in his throat. “I’m not joking around Richie. I’m in love with you.”  
  


“No you’re not.” He responded with a meek sound, almost a whimper as he let go of Eddie to stabilize himself against the bed. “You can’t- you can’t just say that.”

“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t say.” He pushed, almost pleading with him. “Do you not believe me?”

“I-” He broke himself off with a hurt noise, and it hurt Eddie’s heart so much he felt physically ill. “When you came out to me, I was so devastated. Because I-” He covered half of his face with his hand, struggling to speak. “It hurt more knowing that you liked guys and I _still_ couldn’t have you.”

_You’ve always had me though._ “Wait.” Eddie wheezed, grabbing his hands before Richie could even think about fleeing. “Are you saying-”

“I’ve been in love with you since we were kids, man.” He laughed wetly, tears free-falling down his face by this point. “I’ve never loved anything as much as I love you Eds.”

“You said that about a cupcake earlier.” Eddie laughed, joining him with his own streaks of tears, not believing that this was happening. His plan, no matter how fucked up it got, was working. He came out, he confessed his feelings. And Richie loved him _back._ That floaty feeling hit him all at once, and he couldn’t resist leaning into him.

“Yeah but I mean it now. I really fucking mean it, I swear.” 

“I mean it too.” He puffed, reaching up to grip the sides of Richie’s face before he lost the courage to do it, and he pulled him in. He mashed their lips together in a hurried but emotionally charged kiss. Richie held onto him tightly, like he was going to disappear when they pulled away. 

“You really love me?”

Eddie wrapped his arms around his neck, keeping him close. “Yeah. Like, a lot.” He smiled, kissing the side of Richie’s mouth lightly.

_“Eddie.”_ He wavered into the kiss, cupping the sides of his voice so gently, like he was made out of glass and he was afraid to break him. “I love you. I love you, I love you-”

“I love you too, Tozier.” He pressed back into him, heart aching in the best way possible, almost overwhelmed with how Richie was grasping onto him. He’d never known what it had felt like to be loved, or at least he thought he didn’t, not in a healthy way. But it turned out that Richie had loved him the entire time, and everything clicked. All of the touches and bickering and flirting and confiding in one another made sense.

“I have to be dreaming.” Richie sighed, sliding his hand to the back of his neck to protect his head when he brought them both down to the mattress. Eddie opened his mouth to speak, but it was immediately distracted by Richie’s lips and tongue. He opened up a little wider, letting Richie explore to his heart’s content, licking behind his teeth and nipping at his bottom lip just enough to drive him crazy. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded, voice hoarse and shaky. “More than okay.”

“You’re a dream Eds.” He said into his lips, hands caressing at his sides. “I’ve fantasized about this more times than I can count.”

“I thought you could only count to ten.”

Richie tilted his head back so he could snort out a laugh, and Eddie blushed at how beautiful he was. “That’s why I love you.”

“You love when I’m an asshole to you?”

“It’s a fetish, don’t kink shame me baby.” He said jokingly, but Eddie immediately heated up at the pet name, wiggling underneath him to alleviate some of the pressure in his pants. “Fuck, are you turned on?”

Eddie writhed underneath him again, flush with embarrassment and also arousal at Richie’s large frame hovering over him. “M-maybe.”

“Hey, don’t be shy.” He teased, leaning back to run his hands up Eddie’s thighs. “You have no idea what this is doing for me.”

“Well.” Eddie looked pointedly at Richie’s pants, seeing the large bulge straining against the material. “I kind of have an idea.” Richie hitched his hips forward just a little, not enough to rub up against anything, holding back with a twisted face. “You can touch me Richie, I’m not fragile.”

“I know-” He swallowed. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah- yes.” He exhaled, already trembling at how hungrily Richie was looking down at him. “Can I touch you back?”

“Um, fuck yes.” He huffed, like it was the most ridiculous question in the world. He ran his hands over every part of Eddie that he could reach like he was starved for it, leaning in occasionally to press their mouths together before pulling away to look him over again. “Can you take this off?” He asked shyly, tugging on Eddie’s shirt.

“No.” Eddie smirked. “But _you_ can.”

“Woah there casanova!” Richie snickered, a little less nervous sounding. “What have you done with my Eds?”

_My Eds._ Eddie squirmed as Richie’s fingers curled underneath the shirt before pulling it up his torso and over his head. “Your turn.” He panted, tugging at Richie’s shirt. He looked unsure but decided to go ahead and take it off, throwing it somewhere on his floor to be forgotten. 

“God damn.” He murmured, running his hands from Eddie’s naval all the way up to his chest. Eddie arched into his touch, hesitantly reaching up to tug at Richie’s jeans so that he fell back on top of him. “I wasn’t done appreciating the view.” He smiled into their next kiss, burying their hands into each other’s hair. 

“Richie.” He whispered in his ear, one hand still nested in his curls and one stretched across his back to grip at the opposite shoulder. 

“Baby if you say my name like that again I’m going to die.” Richie laughed, sucking gently at his neck. Eddie tilted his head a little more to give him more access, biting down on his lip to stop any embarrassing noises from spilling out.

“If you call me baby like that again, _I’m_ going to die.” He whimpered lightly, raising his hips to seek any sort of friction. “Touch me. I really want you to touch me.”

“I am.” Richie said lowly, tugging on his hair gently to make a point.

“You know what I mean.” He swallowed, tugging on his hair in return. Richie let out a low groan that stole all of the air from his lungs, mouth dry as he pulled away just a little bit to tug his pants down further onto his thighs. He couldn’t think straight, not with Richie leaving open-mouthed kisses on his neck and chest, fingers creeping over the top of his briefs, palming his hard on gently. 

“This okay-”  
  


“Yes, yes.” He nodded quickly, feeling dizzy off of the touch, the thin barrier of the fabric still too much between them. Richie took one hand away from him, gripping his chin lightly to tip his head back so he could press their lips back together. The other hand continued forward, curling around the fabric of his briefs so he could tug them down to where his pants rested on his thighs. “Jesus Christ.”

“My name’s Richie, actually.”

“Did you really just say that because you’re an idiot or because you’re nervous?” He huffed out an anxious laugh, digging his nails into his shoulder.

“Both?”

“Well cut it out.” Eddie smiled up at him, hoping that it relieved some of the tension. It must’ve worked, because his face looked more relaxed when he took him into his hand. “Shit-”

“Fuck Eds.” He moaned, stroking him once gingerly. “You’re literally perfect. Should’ve known you had a big dick.”

“Richie.” He panted out, unable to focus with Richie’s hand around him.

“Do you always get this wet too?”

“Stop…” He turned his head and flung an arm over his eyes with embarrassment. 

“No, I’m serious. This is right out of one of my wet dreams. I can’t believe _oh-_ ” His breath hitched when Eddie’s nimble fingers slid over the waistband of his pants, tugging them down so he could return the favor. He knew it would shut him up, and it seemed like his brain was short-circuiting as his hand stilled around Eddie. 

But as much as he played it up, Eddie never wanted Richie to be too quiet. “What did you dream about?”

“They’re always about you baby.” He hissed under Eddie’s teasing touch, lightly tracing the waistband of his boxers. “Sometimes I’m just holding you, sometimes we’re making out.” He swallowed hard, rocking into Eddie’s hand. “I can’t tell you how many dreams I’ve had of blowing you. Or fucking you.”

_“Oh.”_

“I mean, you could fuck me too if you wanted. I’d let you.” He said quickly. “Wouldn’t stop you if you tried to blow me either.”  
  


“I’ve um… I’ve never bottomed before. I’ve had sex! Just not- not all the way like that.” He confessed, trying not to sound like a total prude. “But I’ve always imagined you on top of me.”

“Oh my god.” He whined, and the sound made Eddie leak a little bit in his hand. He started moving it again, Eddie’s fingers finally reaching into his boxers. “You’d want that? You’d let me fuck you?”

Eddie took him into his hand, shivering at the heavy weight. He was incredibly hard, and very big. He nodded his head, starting to stroke him slowly once he pushed his boxers down. “I really want it. I just- I don’t know if I- I might-”

“Shhh, it’s okay sweetheart.” He said gently, thrusting into his hand, sweat starting to form on his forehead. “We’ll take it slow, there’s no rush.” He leaned down to kiss him again, and Eddie was baffled at how much he enjoyed his lips. Almost as much as he enjoyed his hand on him, speeding up quickly. He followed his lead, pumping Richie in his hand a little faster, both overwhelmed and intrigued by his size. 

It had been a while since anyone had been able to get him so close so fast. But Richie was able to quickly have him writhing underneath him, sucking in air desperately as he felt warmth tighten in his abdomen and his muscles tense. “Richie.” He gasped, moving his hand quickly, knowing he wasn’t going to last long. “I’m really close, fuck.”

“I’ve got you.” He hummed, smacking his hand away from him. Eddie was confused at first, breath stuttering when Richie wrapped one of his large hands around both of them and jerked them together. “I’ve got you Eds, there you go.”

“Ah- Richie, shit.” He lifted his hips to fuck into his fist once, then twice, before cumming over Richie’s fingers and his own exposed chest. He trembled underneath him, touching every part of Richie that he could touch before he finished over his hand as well, still pumping them both as they came down. He let out a string of curses before collapsing on top of him, the weight both comforting and gross on top of him. They were both sweaty and heaving, cum sandwiched between the both of them. 

“I love you.” Richie murmured into his ear, pressing soft kisses to the side of his face as his breathing slowed. “I really fucking love you.”

“I love you too.” He breathed into his jaw, lightly kissing the stumbled there as he slid his arms around his neck, holding him close. “Thank you.”

“For what?” He chuckled hoarsely. “For touching your dick? Let me tell you, that was totally self-serving.”

“No dipshit, for loving me.”

Richie exhaled, whatever sentence he had dying on his lips. “Baby, you don’t need to thank me for loving you. It’s not something I chose, it’s literally a part of me that is _never_ going to go away.”

“Okay.” He responded, the word shaking out of his mouth. Richie squeezed him tightly, kissing the top of his head before he rolled off of him, pulling him closer so that they were spooning. 

Richie wiped his hand off on his pants before kicking them off of his legs, but he quickly changed the topic before Eddie could scold him. “I can’t believe you thought Reed was my girlfriend.” 

Eddie scoffed, dropping his head back onto his shoulder as he kicked off his pants as well. “Sorry that you flirt with everything with a pulse.” 

“You know I’m like that with all of my friends. You’re different though.” 

“She was in your bed!” 

“I let my friends crash in my bed, sue me for being a good host!” 

“Yeah, a good host sleeps with everyone.” He mumbled, joking of course, but also jealous of every person Richie’s ever had in his bed.

“For your information Eds, I don’t sleep with them when they stay over. I take the couch.” He laughed, planting a kiss in his messy hair. “The only person I actually stay in bed with is _you._ ” 

“...Even the people you have sex with?” Eddie blinked up at him, the corners of his mouth turned up into a smirk.

“Jesus! I’ve never stayed the night with a fling, first of all. Second, I’d like to know how much action you think I’m getting. Spoiler alert, not a lot. Kind of hard to be in the mood when I’ve been in love with you for over a decade.”

Eddie didn’t reply, humming as he pressed an open-mouthed kiss onto Richie’s jaw. It made him smile knowing that he could do that whenever he wanted now. They laid there for a while, swapping lazy kisses and holding each other until Eddie made Richie get up and clean them off. Wipes did a decent job, or at least Eddie tried to convince himself so that they didn’t have to break apart for a shower. But then it dawned on him. “Rich, do you want to take a shower?”

“Tired.” He yawned, eyes closed.

“But like… with me?”

Richie’s eyes opened immediately. “Why didn’t you say so?!”

Eddie slipped into one of Richie’s shirts, swimming in it as they both shuffled to the bathroom. Richie assured him that no one was home so he didn’t need to cover himself, but he didn’t want to take any chances. Richie and Eddie used to shower together as kids just like they use to sleep together as kids. But everything was different now that they’d aired everything out. Eddie got to touch him now, and he even got to _be_ touched. He was finally able to touch and be touched by the one person he ever wanted to.

So it was easy to say, showering with Richie was exciting and strangely normal all at once. Maybe not normal, but definitely comfortable, like they were meant to be doing it. Nothing could ruin having such a tender and vulnerable person with the person he loved most.

Well, maybe opening the bathroom door in only a towel and standing in front of a group of people ruined it a little bit. “Oops.” Richie chuckled nervously behind him, stepping out in front to greet the numerous pairs of eyes on them. 

“Jesus Tozier, put some fucking clothes on!” Reed snorted, but she smiled past him towards Eddie, winking.

“I just got out of a shower!” He scoffed, tossing the shirt that Eddie had worn to the bathroom at her. “Sorry that we lost track of time. Didn’t know you’d be here.”

“I’m just glad we didn’t see anything.” Anthony feigned a shiver, his feet kicked up onto the couch as he sipped his beer loudly. “That shower better be squeaky clean, we _just_ cleaned it.”

“Yeah in preparation for Eddie.” James snorted as he tripped over the couch, clearly drunk.

“Leave them alone.” Reed sneered at them, shooting them both an apologetic smile. “They’re happy for you, we all are. We don’t wanna make it weird for you, we kind of-”

“Oh about fucking time!” Ronny tumbled out of his room, thankfully without his girlfriend. 

“Shut the hell up Ronny!” She hissed, turning back to them with a smug look. “I’m really happy for you both. Now Richie can finally shut up about not being with you. Wait fuck… now all he’ll talk about _is_ being with you-”

“Alright!” Richie clasped his hands together, pushing Eddie towards his room. “We are too naked for this conversation. Night!”

He locked the door behind them, flopping on his bed with an exasperated groan. Eddie himself was mortified, but he could never pass up an opportunity to flip it on Richie. “You really cleaned your shower for me?”

“It was a team effort.” He rolled onto his back, grinning at him. “I know you’d like a clean shower. And let me tell you, it was pretty gross. So you’re welcome.” He sat up quickly, grabbing at him. “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

“Um- getting dressed?” He responded, pausing his search for a clean set of clothes.

Richie clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Noooo, don’t.”

“Are you seriously whining right now?”

“C’mon, it’s our last night.” He pouted, tossing his towel onto the floor and crawling underneath the blanket. “Cuddle with me naked.”

Eddie crossed his arms at the suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows, before giving in quickly and dropping his towel to the floor. He crawled over him, stopping briefly to kiss him lightly, and wiggling into his arms underneath the warm blanket. It didn’t fully hit him until he heard Richie’s soft snoring that he had an early flight back to New York in the morning. And that hurt.

The last thing he wanted was to have to give up his newfound freedom to cuddle and kiss Richie, heart aching just imagining having to be almost three thousand miles away from him. He didn’t want facetime and texting, he wanted to cuddle and shower together and feel safe in Richie’s arms while they slept. It wasn’t fair, and he didn’t get much sleep, thankful that his silent crying didn’t wake Richie. 

They laid together in the morning, just holding each other tightly and swapping remorseful kisses. Richie clearly didn’t want him to leave either. He was quieter than usual, almost like he was just savoring every second that they still had together. Eddie didn’t want it to end, obviously. So when Richie moved to get up and get dressed to take him to the airport he felt physically sick. They held hands the entire car ride like lovesick teenagers, and Eddie could feel his heartbeat in his palms as well as the tension filling the car. 

Eddie didn’t want to cry in front of Richie, because he knew it would make him feel worse and the last thing he wanted was for him to worry about him. It was hard with Richie muttering cute things like “fuck I’m gonna miss you” and “this really sucks” or “I wish you could stay forever.” It did really suck, and Eddie did want to stay forever, but he had a math class to attend at the end of the day, so missing his flight would cost him his perfect attendance grade. Not that he cared about that more than Richie, but he pretended he did to prevent himself from actually missing his flight on purpose.

“Do you want me to walk you to security?” Richie offered after helping him pull his suitcase out of the backseat. 

“No, they’ll give you a ticket if you just leave the car here.” Eddie declined, still touched by the offer. He walked into Richie’s open arms, hugging him tightly.

“I can always go park it.” He continued. “Or I can buy a ticket and follow you back to New York. You’ve got that fancy room all to yourself, I promise I’ll be quiet.”

Eddie took a deep breath, squeezing his waist and memorizing how he smelled. “You can’t promise to be quiet. And I don’t want you to promise that anyway.”

“Yeah.” He heard Richie swallow thickly, and he knew that if Richie started crying it would be all over. So he pulled away, pulling his face down to kiss him gently, rubbing soothing circles on his cheeks with his thumbs. “Let me know when you board? And when you land? And when you get back to your dorm?”

“Okay.” Eddie nodded, kissing him one more time, a little firmer before grabbing his luggage. “I love you.”

“I love you more.” 

“Not possible.”

Richie beamed at him, and it made Eddie’s heart hurt and knees weak at the same time. “Don’t start this fight right now, Kaspbrak. There’s no time. Now get your cute butt on that plane before you miss it.”

Oh how badly he wanted to miss it though. But he just laughed and turned around, stopping just before he got to the sliding doors. He made the mistake of looking over his shoulder, seeing just how devastated Richie looked even behind his smile. He stood like that, looking back at him for an agonizing moment before dropping his luggage right there and heading back for him. He barreled into his chest, almost sending them both into Richie’s car, hugging him tightly as the tears he’d been holding back found their way to freedom. “I don’t wanna leave.”

Richie kissed the top of his head as he rubbed up and down his back soothingly. “I know baby.” He said softly, nuzzling into his hair. “I don’t want you to either.”

Eddie didn’t care about the odd stares he received as he openly sobbed into Richie’s chest, his luggage still on the ground behind him causing a safety hazard for sure. “I don’t want to be alone.” He cried, muffled by Richie’s shirt.

“Hey, you won’t be alone.” Richie tried, wrapping his arms around his neck to hold him even closer. “We’ll facetime every single day. I promise, we can always talk. You know that.”

“It’s not the same.”

“I know.” He said quietly, and Eddie could hear the wobble in his voice. “Sweetheart, I love you so much. So, _so_ much. But you’re going to miss your flight for real.” He sniffled, sadly smiling down at Eddie when he pulled away. “Don’t let me keep you from math class.”

Eddie laughed lightly, wiping at his eyes. “Yeah.” He breathed in deeply, pulling himself together. “I’ll call you later?”

“Not if I call you first.” Richie laughed wetly, caressing his cheek lightly before giving him a final kiss, for real this time. “Go, I love you.”

“Love you too.” He nodded, turning around to retrieve his abandoned luggage. For the sake of his sanity, he didn’t turn around. He walked through the door without looking back and headed straight for security, where he finally let out the breath he’d been holding. 

He napped on the flight, which was both rejuvenating from lack of sleep and also helped to distract him from how heartbroken he was about leaving California. He texted Richie once he was in the cab, jet-lagged and hollow inside. When he got back to his single dorm room he dumped his suitcase onto the bed, a large sweatshirt falling out along with a note.

_Dearest Edward,_

_Thankfully you take an ungodly amount of time brushing your pearly whites so I have enough time to write you this dorky little note. I love you, and I’m going to miss you so much. I flipped through all of the colors on that lamp you gave me and I coded them for us :) see below:_

_Red- I’m horny ;)_

_Orange- I have something exciting to tell you_

_Yellow- Just thinking of you_

_Green- Wanna hear a joke?_

_Blue- Feeling lonely_

_Indigo- I wish I was there with you to cuddle_

_Violet- Call/Facetime?_

_Pink- I miss you_

_P.S - I snuck one of my sweatshirts in your luggage, it’s the muppets one you think is stupid but I know you secretly like <3 in return, I took a pair of your boxers :D _

_-Richie_

Eddie snorted to himself and picked up his phone to text him, suddenly hit again with the realization that he was on the opposite side of the country. He didn’t end up going to math, because _shit,_ that realization hurt. Instead, he slipped on the oversized sweatshirt and walked over to his lamp, turning it pink for a moment so Richie would have a chance to see it before changing it to violet.

It didn’t take long for them both to realize that phone calls and facetimes were not enough to satisfy the ridiculous amount of longing they had for each other. But they still talked every chance they could get. In between the last days of classes and studying for final exams, every second was devoted to being on the phone. So they pushed through it, only a week away from graduation. 

Despite their constant phone calls, Eddie missed him so much that it hurt. Long-distance was even harder now that their feelings were out in the open and their relationship grew stronger every day. But they were both counting down the days till they’d be together again. 

“Hey gorgeous!” Richie chirped through the phone, and Eddie melted at the wide smile on his face. It looked like he was still in bed even though it was well past noon already in California. 

Eddie hummed, flushing a little bit. “Hey Rich.”

“Did you get my message?”

Eddie’s eyes flickered up to the lamp, which was glowing a dark red. He rolled his eyes with a laugh. “Why do you think I called?”

“I knew you were only using me for my body.” He smirked. “Maybe because you missed me, I don’t know!”

“ _You_ hit red Richie, not me.”

“Does that mean you’re not in the mood or…”

“Shut up and get naked you loser.” He scoffed, already wiggling out of his shorts, his notebooks and notes long forgotten. “For the record, I do miss you.”

“That’s sweet baby, I miss you too.” He blew a kiss at the camera. “Hold on, let me put a sock on the door.”

“Christ…”

Nothing was better than having Richie there to physically touch him, or getting to touch him back. But phone sex was a decent substitute, much less lonely than getting off by themselves. When Eddie closed his eyes and focused on Richie’s voice in his ear, it was easy to imagine that they were actually together, hands all over him like he desperately missed. 

Eddie already had his flight booked for the first week of April, which would make it almost an entire month without seeing Richie in person. His stomach twisted with excitement, ready to watch Richie graduate towards freedom like he always talked about since they graduated high school. Richie had an outstanding GPA, and he was loved by professors and other students. Eddie was proud of him, he always would be. But Richie still asked him every single day if he was at all bothered about having to fly out to LA again, to which Eddie always had the same answer.

“You’ll really be here for graduation?” 

“Of course.” Eddie said for the millionth time. “Promise you’ll be at mine?”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Hey, my parents are excited to see you again.” 

“Did you tell them about us?” He thought about the last time he’d seen Maggie and Wentworth, filling with warmth just thinking about them. How much he missed them. Thinking about how they missed him back.

“Kind of, yeah.” Richie was silent for a moment. “Is that okay?” 

“Mhm. I’m excited to see them too… I don’t think I can return the favor and say my mother will be pleased to see you though.”

“No surprise there.” He barked out a laugh, despite it not really being funny. “I know she’s always just _delighted_ to see my face. She’ll put a bounty on my head for stealing you away-”

“She doesn’t know.” He blurted, clenching his jaw without saying anything else. But he didn’t need to, Richie understood what he meant.

“That’s okay, she doesn’t have to.”

“She will eventually.” He said lowly, feeling bad that he couldn’t tell her like Richie had told his parents. He knew how that would play out, and he didn’t want to ruin either of their graduations by telling her that her perfect little Eddie was gay, let alone dating the dirty Tozier boy. “I have to get back to studying, thanks for the pretend handjob.”

“Just because it’s over the phone doesn’t mean it’s pretend.” He chuckled.

“But you’re not here.” He huffed, angry at that fact. “It’s not the same, I know what your hand feels like.”

“And you’ll get to feel it again before you know it.” He raised his eyebrows, wiggling them suggestively. He looked pleased to get a laugh in response. “Alright, go back to studying you nerd. I love you, facetime again tonight?

“I’ll hit the lamp when I’m ready.” He nodded, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be able to get any good sleep without hearing Richie’s snores over the phone. “I love you too, bye.”

“Bye lover, see you soon.”  
  


As soon as the call dropped, Eddie’s lamp was glowing a soothing indigo, softly lighting up the room. Eddie knew it was bad for his eyes, but he ignored that fact and continued studying under the dim blue radiance.

Finals week was hell, it always was. Eddie had studied a lot for it, even with him and Richie talking non stop every day. In fact, the only time that they weren’t talking was when they were taking an exam or studying for one. It was an added challenge, constantly having each other on their minds. But they pushed through, motivated to finish their last semester off strong so they could graduate and be done with everything. 

Eddie had applied to several graduate schools for business, both in California and New York, unsure of where his life would be. But he knew for certain that he wouldn’t be going anywhere far from Richie. They hadn’t talked about plans for after graduation yet, dancing around the subject and settling for the understanding that whatever happened, they’d be together. 

All of the stress and longing was worth the feeling of giddiness Eddie felt when he sat down in his seat on the plane, quickly texting Richie that he’d be there in a few hours. With the time difference, his flight would be landing a little over an hour before Richie had to be at graduation. With the last name ‘Tozier’, he suspected that he’d be waiting a while for Richie’s name to be called anyway. Richie was due to give a small speech at the end of graduation just like Eddie was selected for his, and Eddie couldn’t wait. The excitement he had was also towards getting to see Richie’s parents again. It had been a while, after Richie stopped going home every summer and when Eddie would come up with any excuse not to return to Maine. But Richie reassured him that they were just as thrilled to see him. And according to him, they were nothing but supportive of his relationship with Eddie.

They always were.

It had been a whole month since he’d flown to Los Angeles, so he was pleasantly reminded of how warm it was once he exited the airport and was hit with a wave of heat. It was warmer than the last time he visited, which was even more splendid on his skin. 

When his eyes zeroed in on Richie his legs moved without any thought, carrying him and his backpack quickly over to him. He practically lept into his arms, flinging his arms over his neck and kissing him hard on the mouth. Richie wrapped his arms around him instantly, gripping him tightly and kissing back. He held him for a while, but not long enough for Eddie, who pouted when he pulled away. “My parents are in the car.”

Eddie’s eyes traveled behind him, spotting two dark figures behind Richie’s lightly tinted windows. “Great, thanks for the heads up you ass.” He blushed, slightly mortified.

“Sorry!” He laughed, and it was so nice to hear that sound without it behind muffled through a phone. “You attacked me. You look cute by the way.”  
  


Eddie looked down at his clothes sheepishly, a simple polo shirt with khakis. “I wasn’t going to show up to your graduation in shorts.”

“Thank god, you know how those shorts of yours get me.” He purred, kissing him lightly. “As much as I love standing here and kissing you outside of the airport like we’re in some romcom, I can _feel_ my parents watching us.” He gripped his hand and offered a warm smile before leading him towards the car. Wentworth was driving while Maggie sat in the passenger seat, and they both turned to look back as soon as Eddie opened his door.

“My goodness, look at you!” Maggie gasped, stretching her torso across the center console to reach him. He gingerly allowed his body to move towards her, sliding into her arms so she could give him a hug. “It’s been, what, a couple of years?”

“At least.” He laughed, soothed by her warm vanilla scent. 

“Too long.” Went smiled back at him, physically unable to hug him, but he settled for a firm handshake. “How have you been, son?”

Eddie always became flustered when Richie’s parents referred to him as their son, but it hit even harder now that he and Richie were an item. He gripped Richie’s hand tightly, calming down when his thumb drew gentle circles around the back of his hand. “I’m really good. Happy to be back here.”

“Excited to graduate?” Maggie asked.

“I think so. It’s kind of a weird feeling you know?” He shrugged. “I think it will be nice to see what comes next.” That was a nice way to put it, Eddie couldn’t wait to graduate. He was sick of being alone in New York and being away from Richie, but he wasn’t ready for that conversation with his parents.

“Well we are all very proud of you.” She said sweetly, and Eddie had to physically restrain himself from crying.

The ride to Richie’s graduation was short, and Eddie was thankful to get out of the car and continue his appreciation for the beautiful weather. It also gave him an opportunity to appreciate Richie. His hair was a little longer than the last time he’d seen him in person, pouring out of his head in beautiful curls. He was wearing a collared shirt that was normal for once, a plain white button-up and dark slacks. He looked good, professional, and painfully handsome. He caught him staring a few times but Eddie had to compose himself for the sake of his reputation with his parents.

His cap and gown were black, which Richie always looked good in, and a long blue and gold lapel hung over his shoulders. “Picture perfect.” His mother sighed, clearly trying to hold it together so she didn’t make too much of a scene. She took a few photos, and Eddie offered to take one of her with Richie and Went. He took a few, honored to capture such a beautiful moment. Afterward, they switched and they took a few of Richie and Eddie. 

They came out nice, especially the one where Richie turned to press a kiss to his cheek. Eddie wasn’t one for any PDA, but he didn’t care who saw, not even his parents. It didn’t matter, his skin was heating with the radiant sun and his heart was overflowing with love. Everything felt absolutely right and Eddie’s heart fluttered when Richie pulled in him for a real kiss before leaving to join the rest of his graduating class.

Eddie followed Went and Maggie to their designated seats amidst the thousands of other family members and university staff. “We’ll probably be waiting a while for his name to be called.” Wentworth sighed, getting comfortable in his seat.

“It’s _your_ last name, dear. Your fault I’m afraid.” Maggie teased, rubbing his knee and settling herself into her chair.

“I know, we should’ve kept yours.” He chuckled, placing a hand onto hers. Eddie was grateful that they didn’t have to sit there in silence, Richie’s parents were always quite talkative and they refused to sit in silence while they waited for hundreds of other grads to be called. Eddie answered their questions about college, not that he had a lot to say about it. They talked a bit about Maine, how it had changed and how they wished Richie would visit more often.

But it was clear that they were proud of Richie, excited for him to move onto a new chapter in his life. “We’re very happy for you both.” Maggie said, and Eddie knew she wasn’t just talking about them graduating college. The conversation took a turn when they asked about his mother, and he felt his heart rate increase a healthy amount.

“I haven’t been back to visit that much either.” He explained. “And- I don’t really want to.” Thankfully, they didn’t pry about why, but he had a feeling that they already knew.

“If you need anything son, you know you can always come to us.” Went smiled at him, nodding his head. Maggie agreed, grabbing her husband’s hand. “We’re always here to help.”

“Thank you.” He swallowed, smiling back and trying not to have a breakdown in front of them and thousands of strangers. “I um- I’m very lucky to have Richie too.”

Maggie and Went looked at each other and then back at Eddie with what could only be described as delight. “And we are very blessed that our Richie has you.”

Before he could embarrass himself, the announcer finally entered the ‘T’ section of the alphabet, signaling that Richie would be called up soon. They still had a ways to go, but in the meantime, Eddie felt the vibration in his pocket. He dug his phone out and couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face. 

**_Richie Rich_ **

_If I don’t hear you when my name_

_gets called we are breaking up_

**_Eds_ **

_Is that a threat?_

_Perhaps it is, my love_

_Well don’t worry, you’ll hear me._

_Awe, cutie ;) Mom and pops aren’t_

_annoying you right?_

_Not at all, I missed them._

_They missed you too baby_

_Well, not as much as I missed you but_

_still. That’s impossible anyway <3 _

_Stop flirting with me over the phone_

_we don’t need to do that anymore, I’m here._

_You’re here, I still can’t believe it_

_Fuck yeah I am. Now get off your phone so you_

_can shake some hands and then flirt with me in_

_person you coward._

_Sir yes sir! Just wait till you hear_

_my speech >:) _

_Ah yes, your speech._

_Yup, I get to bid my classmates farewell!_

_Perks of getting straight A’s :)))_

_For someone with straight As, you aren’t..._

_Aren’t what?_

_Straight :)_

_Oooo good one Eds <3 _

_See you in a bit babe_

_Proud of you, lover._

Eddie pocketed his phone and bounced his leg up and down as the names drew closer and closer to Richie’s. Finally, after a little bit longer of meaningless names being called, the announcer called _‘Richard Tozier’_ loud into the microphone. His parents stood up to see him better, and Eddie followed them, clapping loudly and cheering. His voice was nearly drowned out in the loud auditorium, but Richie turned his head to scan the crowd, winking when their eyes finally met. 

He shook a few hands, crossing the stage to accept his diploma. Eddie was sure he didn’t blink the entire time he was up there, watching his every movement in awe. He’d never been so proud of anyone, ever. 

Richie’s appearance was short-lived, and everyone sat back down for the rest of the names to be called. It took all day really, and it was dark by the time the last name was called. The entire auditorium stood up to congratulate the graduating class in its entirety, and a few students were invited to make a speech.

It was a right reserved for the students at the top of the class, one of which was Richie. He’d always been smart, that was no secret. Behind his childlike antics and vulgar sense of humor, he was intelligent and hardworking. No one deserved to succeed more than him in Eddie’s mind. A couple of people spoke before him, but then it was him at the podium, and Eddie found himself holding his breath. 

Of course, Richie had prepared a speech that was designed to inspire and make people laugh.

“Who are we? That is a great question. We've spent the last few years of our lives trying to prepare for that, but it isn't something that you can Google. Well, you can Google it, but make sure that you turn on the safe search first. There is no telling what your results might be.” That got a big laugh from a mixture of students, parents, and staff. 

“However, Google won't tell us where our passion lies. It won't tell us who we are. And while some of us know, (your parents are breathing a deep sigh of relief right now), others of us don't, (sorry Mom and Dad). We don't know what we want to be when we grow up yet, and that is okay. Well, your parents might not think so if you are on your fourth major and they're paying your tuition, but it is still okay.” He smiled into the crowd, and Eddie felt himself vibrating with pride. He turned to the selection of professors and other faculty members that had joined him on stage.

“Teachers, your passion and dedication have helped us to realize that being first in line isn't a life or death situation. To all faculty, thank you for putting up with us from our nose picking days to raging hormonal breakdowns, to this very moment. Through it all, you have been our rocks. So as we take this final walk out of this school, we thank you all for helping us to answer the question of who we are.” He looked pleased with himself, nodding at the final round of applause and hollers from his classmates. He returned to his seat, where the school’s president gave a small speech of his own before announcing them graduates, and tassels were moved and caps were thrown into the air. 

Eddie didn’t know he was tearing up until Went laid an arm across his shoulders, patting his side gently. “Thank you for coming Eddie. It means a lot to us. To him.”

“Thank _you_ for having me.” He sniffled, wiping his eyes quickly. Maggie, on the other hand, did nothing to hide her tears. Just when they thought it was all finally over, it turned out to be hell trying to find Richie. But it was worth it when they did, and Eddie couldn’t help but run at him. Thankfully, Richie was ready to catch him, wrapping his arms around him tightly and letting out a relieved sigh into his hair, placing a careful kiss there.

“I’m so so proud of you.” Eddie mumbled into his gown, squeezing him tightly. 

Richie cupped his face to bring him out of it, his eyes shiny behind his glasses. “Don’t make me lose it Eds.” He laughed wetly, kissing him gently. “I love you-” He barely got it out before they were blinded by a flash. “Mom! Seriously!?”

“I wanted to capture the moment!” She scoffed, looking into the camera screen to examine the picture. “You’ll thank me later.”

Richie brushed Eddie’s cheek lovingly with his thumb before stepping away to hug his mother. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks mom.”

“Congratulations sweetie.” She grinned, hugging him back tightly and placing a wet kiss onto his cheek. He stepped away to accept a hug from his father, their heights competing. 

“Good work Rich.” He hummed, patting his back. “We are all very proud.”

“Thanks pops.” He laughed. “Now can we please get the hell out of here? I think my stomach is about to digest itself.”

It was already late for dinner, but Went and Maggie obliged him anyway, and they found a small restaurant on the Santa Monica pier. They ate outside underneath twinkle lights with a view of the beach, the warm California air mixing perfectly with the cool sea breeze. It was perfect, and the food was fantastic.

Eddie insisted he pay for his own meal, but the Tozier’s weren’t having it, and Maggie actually threatened to smack him if he reached for the check one more time to check the prices. Richie squeezed his hand underneath the table and shook his head with a laugh, so Eddie decided to drop it. 

Richie and Maggie were due to stay a few days in California to spend time with their son and explore Los Angeles. Unsure of when they would see Eddie next, they both got out of the car to hug him goodbye as they dropped both boys back at Richie’s dorm.

Eddie was reminded how deeply sad it made him to say goodbye to them, but they both reassured him that they would see him more often now that he and Richie were graduating. And he promised the same, waving goodbye as the rental car pulled away and disappeared out of sight. It was sad, but both of them felt able to breathe, knocking into each other with desperation now that they were alone. “Take me to your room.” Eddie sighed, melting into Richie’s hands that were wandering all over him.

“My pleasure.”

They were touching each other all the way from the front of the building all the way to his dorm, slow but desperate. They were both finally able to appreciate being back together in person, fingers touching every inch of exposed skin just because they could. They, of course, ran into Reed just before they could get past the front door.

“Richard!” She hollered from down the hall. “Congratulations, smarty pants! How was the ceremony?”

“Thanks dude, it was great!” He yelled back, choking on the last bit when Eddie snaked his arms around his waist, running his hands up the back of his shirt. “Listen, I love you, but I’m trying to get laid!”

“Have fun!” She laughed, waving at them as they finally breached Richie’s front door. They slammed it shut behind them, and Eddie pushed Richie towards his room urgently.

“What, you’re not gonna scold me for that?” He laughed, leading them both across the apartment. 

“Not right now, I’m trying to get laid too.”

_“Shit.”_ He exhaled, tugging Eddie into his room with him so he could lock the door. There was nobody left in his apartment, all of Richie’s roommates already moved out and probably headed home after the ceremony. But he locked the door anyway. 

Most of Richie’s stuff was packed in boxes, and Eddie wanted to anxiously ask about where he was planning to go next. But it was hard to think with Richie tackling him onto the bed, kissing him ferociously. He gently tugged on his shirt and Eddie nodded with permission. He laughed, watching Richie grow frustrated as he fumbled with the buttons on both of their shirts. Eddie helped, finally undoing the last buttons so their shirts could be thrown to the floor without care. 

He couldn’t help the whine shooting out of the back of his throat and the way his body arched when Richie mouthed at his chest, licking and nipping over the skin. He buried his hands in Richie’s hair, gripping tightly when he sucked on one of his firm nipples, squirming underneath him. “Richie.” He panted, nails scratching at his scalp. 

“Fuck, Eds.” He grunted, kissing his way back up to his neck, then his lips. “I missed you so damn much.”

“Me too.” He smiled into the kiss, opening his mouth a little wider so Richie could deepen it. “Missed you touching me.”

“God, me too.” He hissed, rocking his hips down so they could grind together, punching the air out of both of them. “Can I-”

“Yes, yes.” Eddie nodded frantically, not even sure what he was asking. But it didn’t matter, he’d take what he could get, craving literally anything Richie could give him.

Richie sat up, nestled in between Eddie’s legs, which were spread on either side of him so he could work at undoing his pants. “Damn baby, these pants are tight.” He mumbled, hands working fast despite the struggle. “You look so good in these. I mean, shit, your legs, your ass. You’re a fucking treat, you know that?”

“Rich.” He whimpered, raising his hips to chase his hands that were tugging down his pants.

“I missed hearing you.” He hummed, curling his hands over Eddie’s briefs to tug them down gently. “Can I blow you?”

Eddie clenched his eyes shut, flushing at the feeling of Richie’s big hand on his wet cock. He nodded, holding on to Richie’s hair to ground himself. He held his breath while Richie burned light kisses into his thigh and pelvis, getting closer and closer. Eddie didn’t receive many blowjobs, and the ones he did were just ‘okay’ at best. He certainly never felt like how he did when Richie finally took him into his mouth, swallowing him down fairly easily before immediately starting to bob his head.

Eddie knew within the first few bobs that he wasn’t going to last, especially as he watched Richie skillfully suck and swirl his tongue as he pulled off. “You taste amazing.”

Eddie keened at that, shivering as Richie went back down, his mouth a vice, warm and wet and just perfect. He gripped his hair tightly, panting and moaning with each bob. He felt jealous of anyone else who had ever gotten to experience the heaven of Richie’s mouth, but he couldn’t focus on it for any more than a few seconds. “Richie, I’m really close.” He warned, a mixture of embarrassment and desperation. “Richie, baby.”

Richie groaned around him at the pet name but didn’t let up. He bobbed his head a little faster, with extra enthusiasm as he fondled Eddie’s taut balls in one of his big hands, the other firmly gripping his thigh. He clenched his eyes shut when Eddie gave a burning tug to his hair as he came down his throat, hips spasming as he bit down on his lip. He couldn’t help a few whimpers and moans that escaped as Richie swallowed around him, humming around him before sliding off slowly. “How was that?” He smiled, his voice absolutely raw, placing a gentle kiss to his hip.

“I- fuck.” Eddie exhaled, attempting to catch his breath. “Really good, what the fuck Richie.”

“Good, I pulled out all the stops for you.”

Eddie snorted, slinging an arm over his eyes. “Yeah well. So much for getting laid.”

“I’m in no rush.” Richie murmured, crawling back up his body. “I wasn’t even touching myself and I still almost nutted when you called me baby.”

“Don’t ever say the word ‘nutted’ to me ever again.”

“Ejaculation?” He smirked, hovering over him. “Are you going to make me brush my teeth, or can I kiss you?”

Eddie answered by pulling him down by the back of his neck for a searing kiss. It should’ve been repulsive, the faint taste of himself on Richie’s tongue. But it made him a little more eager to lick into his mouth as a thank you and an ‘I love you.’ He pushed at his shoulders so he’d roll off of him, switching positions so Eddie could hover over him. 

He hesitantly kissed at his neck, experimenting with a few gentle bites. He was spurred on by Richie’s soft noises, encouraging him to keep going. He copied Richie’s movements down his neck and chest, fingers playing with the hair dusting his upper body. “Um, can I like- blow you back?”

Richie chuckled, a hand reaching to caress Eddie’s cheek lightly. “You don’t have to.”

“I know, I want to.”

“Then by all means Eddio, full speed ahead.”

“I’m going to bite your dick off if you do one more accent.” He glared up at him as his hands tugged on his slacks. Richie’s pants were a lot easier to get off, sliding down his legs to reveal Richie’s stupid comic book underwear. “You’re such a loser.”

“Mhm.” Richie hummed, thigh muscles flexing when Eddie’s hands skimmed the damp fabric where his erection was prominently fighting against. “Jesus Eddie, you’re gonna kill me.”

“What a way to go.” He laughed, freeing Richie’s hard on so he could get his hand around it. He was bigger than he remembered, slightly intimidated by the size, suddenly feeling self-conscious. “I’ve uh- I’ve never actually done this before.”

“That’s okay.” He assured him, his voice strained. “We can always stop. I guess the biggest tip is to not bite my dick off.”

Eddie smacked his thigh playfully, satisfied at the way Richie jolted as a reflex. He stroked him up and down carefully, clearly too slow for Richie, who was struggling to keep his hips still. He licked at his wet head to get a feel, shivering from the low groan pouring out of him. He took him further into his mouth, trying to relax his jaw as best as he could before going down as far as he could. He pulled back to cough loudly as Richie hit the back of his throat, eyes already beginning to tear.

“Easy, sweetheart. You don’t have to go crazy.” He brushed his hair back, running his fingers through it as he caught his breath. “Take it slow, yeah just like that. Fuck, that feels good.” He grunted as Eddie took him back in, trying to replicate the way Richie’s tongue slid over him. “You’re doing so good Eds, use your hand for the rest.”

He did as instructed, timing his breaths through his nose as he moved his hand over the parts that his length couldn’t reach. He sucked a little harder around the head, pleased with the way Richie bucked further into his mouth. “Shit, sorry.” He hissed, his fingers curling a little tighter in Eddie’s hair. “That’s it baby, just like that. You’re amazing- Eddie I’m gonna cum.”

Eddie kept bobbing his head stubbornly, Richie shallowly thrusting up into his mouth while warning him again. “Don’t push yourself.” He groaned, tapping his shoulder lightly. “Eds, I’m right there- fuck.”

Eddie opened his eyes, shiny with tears and lips glossy with spit to look up at him, and Richie was gone. He came hard into his mouth, twitching underneath him as he clenched his jaw, moaning low in his throat. A few tears rolled down Eddie’s face, and he wiped them away before spitting into the tissue that Richie handed him quickly. He attempted to swallow, but he didn’t want to push it, like Richie said.

It was pretty gross, the taste and texture, but he didn’t mind especially with Richie continuing to run his hands through his hair as he crawled back up his body. He tugged him down for a kiss, not at all bothered by the taste of himself in Eddie’s mouth. It was unhygienic, but Eddie could wait to brush his teeth. “I love you.” He murmured into his mouth.

“Love you too.” He sighed, dropping his arms around Eddie’s waist so they could snuggle together. “Thank you for coming today.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” He pressed a kiss to his jaw before sitting up. “Hey, I got you something.”

“Ooo, a gift for little ole me?” He raised an eyebrow, watching Eddie walk over to where his backpack was dumped by the door. It took him a minute, but he finally produced the wacky gift bag with neon stripes and wiggly lines wrapping around it. “Awe.”

“Open it.” He smiled, handing it over. It wasn’t a huge bag, and it didn’t weigh much, but Richie tore it open with excitement before he could even guess what it could be.

“No way!” He laughed, holding up the Hawaiian shirt to examine it closer. It had little brown bears scattered across the blue fabric, all of them in funny positions. They were bruins, the mascot for UCLA. He turned it around after Eddie signaled to check the back, a wide grin spreading across his face when he saw the large letters spelling ‘TRASHMOUTH’ on the back like a jersey. “Thanks babe, you’re the best.”

“I know.” Eddie laughed, folding it nicely for him so he could tug them towards the bathroom to brush their teeth. They took a shower together too, no need to worry like the last time given that they were the only people left in the apartment. 

Eddie wanted to stay with him desperately, but he needed to fly back to New York to pack up his dorm so he’d be ready to move out. Richie offered to change his flight to an earlier date so that he could help, and Eddie almost accepted the offer but it would’ve cost him a lot of money. So they stuck it out another few days, nearly a week, before Eddie’s graduation. Most of his time was spent packing with Richie over facetime, so it wasn’t unbearable, but he still felt that familiar itch to have him in person again. It would never be enough.

Richie took a cab from the airport to Eddie’s dorm, already dressed to impress in an outfit similar to the one he wore to his own graduation. He seemed just as excited as Eddie to attend graduation in Yankee Stadium, but they were also excited that Richie had flown in early enough for them to have a bit of downtime. They ate brunch, savoring their time back together before they’d inevitably be separated by Sonia.

She was not at all pleased to hear that Richie would be attending his graduation, and she made it clear that she had only reserved one stadium seat, for her of course. Eddie assured her that was fine, knowing that Richie had already reserved his own. He had to practically beg her to take Richie along with them to the stadium, and she reluctantly agreed to drive them both, after throwing a tantrum when Eddie insinuated that he was either going with her _and_ Richie or just Richie.

He felt bad about it, but he kept his distance from Richie once they got into the car, and he didn’t even attempt to talk to him during the ride. There was no point, he knew he wouldn’t be able to say what he wanted anyway. It didn’t make him feel any less bad though, but Richie understood.

It took a while for them to find parking despite being early, the parking lot already chaotic and packed. Sonia had to check-in for a parking pass, which she was not too thrilled about, but it gave Richie and Eddie a chance to leave her behind. Eddie put on his purple gown and Richie helped him secure the gold lapel over his shoulders, stepping back to take a picture. “Say, Richie is the best!”

“You’re the worst!” Eddie smiled, laughing when he took several pictures. He expected his mother to interrupt them and scold him for putting on his gown without her, and yell at Richie for taking so many pictures. But what he didn’t expect was two people to stand beside him for the next picture.

“Say, congratulations Eddie!” Richie smirked behind the camera.

“Congratulations Eddie!” Two sets of voices hit Eddie’s ears, and when he looked up, his black cap nearly fell off of his head.

Wentworth and Maggie, in the flesh, were smiling at him. He blinked a few times, brain trying to catch up. It finally did when they both pulled him in for a hug, and he hugged them back tightly, shocked and overjoyed to see them. “You’re here?!” 

“Of course!” Maggie clasped her hands together. “We wanted it to be a surprise. Bangor isn’t far so we decided that the seven hours was worth it to see you graduate in person!”

“Plus, we’ve always wanted to explore the city.” Went nodded. “Maybe we’ll stick around for a day or two.”

“Well I can definitely share some of my city secrets.” Eddie joked, hoping he didn’t sound as overwhelmed as he felt. In a good way, but his heart felt like it was working extra hard. 

“That would be marvelous.” Went laughed, raising his eyes at Maggie. She dug around in her purse and pulled out a black book. “We’ve got you something.”

“No, no.” Eddie waved his hands, already feeling his eyes swell and he didn’t even know what it was yet. “You don’t have to.”

“Hush.” Maggie shushed him, handing the book over gently. “It’s nothing fancy.”

Eddie took it carefully in his hands, looking to them, then to Richie before opening it to peek inside. The first page had a few quotes scribbled on it and a polaroid. It was of him and Richie from middle school, looking young and wild as they smiled at the camera with their ice cream cones in hand. He flipped to the next page, and there were more polaroids. Ones of him and Richie fighting, shooting each other water guns, eating popcorn on the couch, playing video games. Each page had more and more, and they progressively got more recent as he flipped through the book. They had been taken over the years, continuing all the way up till their high school graduation. The polaroids ended after that, and as Eddie flipped the next page, he instantly recognized the most recent photo. 

It was from Richie’s graduation, Eddie tucked carefully into his side as he kissed him, both of them smiling wide without even realizing that the camera was on them. There weren’t any more photos, just blank pages for new pictures, pictures that they would collect in the future. Eddie shut it gently, blinking up at them, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “Thank you-”

“Eddie.” He nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of his mother directly behind him. Her eyebrows were furrowed, clearly skeptical of what was going on. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out right away. 

Maggie took the book quickly from his hands before holding her other hand out to Sonia. “Mrs. Kaspbrak, long time to see!” 

Sonia hummed, shaking her hand weakly. “And what would you all be doing here? My Eddie tells me that Richard already graduated from UCLA.”

“Right.” Wentworth cleared his throat. “And we are very proud of him.”

“We were in the area and figured we would come to support Eddie.” Maggie nodded. “Our boys were always very close as you know. Eddie is like a son to us-”

“Thank you for the generosity.” She cut her off. “But Eddie has his _real_ mother here.”

Maggie stepped away from her, returning to her spot next to her husband and Richie. “I am aware. We just wanted-”

“Eddie.” She interrupted again, ignoring the Toziers completely. “I see you’ve invited some people without my knowledge. It is your graduation, I know. But remember that dinner is for _us._ ”

“Yes mom…”

“Very good, I’m going to find my seat.” She placed a kiss on the top of his cap, and he hoped she felt the way he cringed. “I will see you after, good luck sweety.”

As soon as she was out of earshot, Maggie pulled Eddie towards her. “Eddie, you know that you are always welcome to have dinner with us, right?”

“It would be our pleasure.” Wentworth agreed, clasping Richie’s shoulder. “We’ll go find our seats, good luck son.”

“You’ll do great.” Maggie smiled, brushing off the top of his cap. “I’ll hold on to this for now.” She slid the book back into her purse and took her husband's hand. “See you soon!”

“Go get em lover.” Richie rubbed his arm gently, deciding not to kiss him just in case Sonia was lurking or had a vantage point on them.

Eddie was trembling as he looked around the crowd of students for his seat, plopping into it and going through various breathing exercises to keep himself grounded. He was never one for crowds, especially when the focus was on him and even if it was for a fleeting moment. Thankfully he didn’t have to wait as long as Richie, and soon he heard the ‘K’ section of the alphabet begin to get called. He fiddled with his lapel, clutching the gold fabric in one hand as he took texted Richie.

**_Eds_ **

_I’m about to pass out._

**_Richie Rich_ **

_You’re gonna be okay babe, promise_

_I have to give a speech._

_And it’s gonna be so good :D_

_I really hope so._

_I love you._

_I love you too, you’re up soon_

Eddie was up soon, the chronological order getting closer and closer to his name before finally, ‘Edward Kaspbrak’ was called. He felt like he was having an out of body experience, his legs moving without his brain commanding them as he walked onto the stage. He shook a few hands, stopping to take a photo with the class dean and president before grabbing his diploma. He scanned the crowd for Richie, but he couldn’t find him fast enough before he was being brought to the side to await his speech.

He felt like he was standing for hours, and he probably was, as the rest of the names were called. He did eventually find Richie in the crowd, heart fluttering at the wide smile on his face. He wished he could keep texting him, but he knew it would be a bad look. That didn’t change how badly he wanted to though. 

His legs were sore from standing after the last name was finally called and he was invited up to the podium. He cleared his throat when he reached the podium, his speech clutched tightly in his hand. He’d planned something fairly original, wishing his fellow classmates good luck and farewell with some bullshit about following your dreams. But he caught eyes with Richie again and adjusted the microphone in front of him, crumpling the sheet of paper in his hand.

“Congratulations to all of you. I just wanted to remind everyone, including myself, that the only way we can make change is by being educated. I want to remind all of you to always be proud and to always remain humble. Be proud of what you’ve accomplished, be proud of who you are. Continue seeking knowledge and most importantly find ways to educate yourself.” He drew in a shaky breath. “I’ve struggled to be proud of something all my life, and since I’m preaching about being proud today, it’d be hypocritical of me to continue hiding. I’ve dodged and ignored a lot because I wasn’t proud of who I am. But today I’m changing that.”

His hands were shaking lightly and he swallowed thickly, but Richie’s surprised grin made him push forward. “I’ve struggled with being proud of myself for a long time because I was afraid that no one else would be proud of me and for me. But an important thing about being proud is that you should always be proud of yourself before you want anyone to be proud of you.” He nodded his head, smiling towards the crowd. “So thank you to those who have always been proud of me for who I am, I am forever grateful for your love and support.” He was looking at Richie and his parents, not even thinking about his own mother. 

“On that note, I want to thank everyone for coming out today because _I_ just came out. Thank you, family, friends, teachers, and graduates!” His legs felt like jelly as he made his way back to his seat, deafened by the applause. He checked his phone as soon as he sat down.

**_Richie Rich_ **

_So fucking proud of you Eds!!_

_Meet me in Went’s Buick after :)_

Eddie threw his cap recklessly along with the rest of the students, officially declared as graduates. He wanted to make a run for it and meet Richie first, but he saw his mother’s glare from a mile away. All of the empowerment and pride shriveled away when he made his way over to her, the disapproving look on her face extremely transparent. “Mom-” 

“Eddie-bear, what did you do?” She demanded, her tone a mixture of condescending and disgust. “What were you thinking?”

“I- I said what I needed to say.” He stammered, clutching onto his gown. 

“Eddie.” She said gravely, her eyes set and cold. “You are not a queer.”

He recoiled at that, avoiding her eyes for a moment before lighting up and firing back. “I know you don’t like it, but I can’t change who I am. I won’t.”

“You’ve made a very big mistake. We have to bring you to-”

“I’m not going anywhere!” He yelled, catching her off guard. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I’m never going home again. I’m going with Richie, because we- we’re in love and-” He was cut off abruptly by a sting across his face. Both of their eyes widened as he reached for his cheek, wincing at the area of impact.

Sonia looked just as shocked, covering her mouth. “Oh Eddie-” She whimpered, reaching for him. She opened her mouth to speak but Eddie stepped away quickly.

“Don’t _fucking_ touch me.” He spat, and he didn’t recognize the way he sounded. He passed her, still holding on to his cheek as he headed straight for the exit. He heard her calling for him, sobbing his name as he left her behind. He didn’t stop walking until he found where Went had parked, opening the passenger seat aggressively and plopping into it.

“Baby, you were incredible! Went and Mags walked to Yankee Steakhouse to secure dinner reservation if you want to join-” Richie beamed from the front seat, growing quiet when Eddie trembled. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Eddie blinked his eyes before turning to him, dropping his hand from his cheek. Richie’s eyes dropped down to the red mark on his face, his face twisting. He didn’t say a word, and he didn’t have to ask what happened.

“Richie, stop.” Eddie begged, lunging across the center console to grab Richie, who was halfway out of the car already. “Please don’t, please.”

“She can’t fucking touch you like that!” He yelled. “Who the fuck does she think she is!?”

“Please, just don’t.” Eddie cried, and Richie visibly softened when he saw a steady stream of tears flowing from his eyes. “Just let it go, please. I don’t want you to stoop to her level I- I just want to start my own life and not be afraid anymore. I want to move on.” He sniffled. “I just want to move on Richie, can we just move on?”

Richie slowly got back into the car, shakily exhaling and wrapping his arms around Eddie. “Yeah baby. We can move on.” He rubbed his back gently before kissing his cheek. “I’m sorry.” He squeezed him tightly before pulling back so he could grip his hands and look into his eyes. “We’re gonna move on. We’re gonna get a place together so you never have to go back with her again, okay? And we won’t have to be apart anymore.”

“I want that.” Eddie smiled, letting go with one hand to wipe at his eyes.

“Me too.” Richie kissed his other hand. “I’ve been looking for apartments, I found a few. I don’t care whether we’re in California or New York, I’ll go anywhere with you.”

“I don’t care either. I applied to graduate schools in both places.” He sniffled. “I got accepted into USC’s Marshall Business School.”

Richie blinked at him before grinning wide. “That’s awesome Eds, I’m so proud of you.” He pulled him in for a kiss, planting a few on his lips. “I was offered a job at KIIS-FM.”

“What?! So why the hell would you come to New York?”

“I told you, I don’t want to be in California unless you’re there.”

Eddie shook his head at him, leaning in to press their lips back together. “I guess it all works out then. We can look at those places in California. You know, George Lucas went to USC.”

“So did Will Ferrell. You tryna be funnier than me?” He laughed. “You know, my parents were thinking about moving to San Francisco when they retire.”

“Perfect.” He nodded, feeling warm at the thought of Went and Maggie moving to California sometime in the future. He’d have his family back, the one he always wanted. He shoved the gown off of his shoulders and neatly folded it. “Can we go eat please?”

As expected, Richie’s parents were delighted to have dinner with him. They didn’t talk about Sonia at all, which Eddie was grateful for. He wasn’t sure if he could handle crying in front of them, not in the middle of a packed restaurant. According to Went, Eddie’s father used to love Yankee Steakhouse. They both expressed that Frank would be proud, and they paid for his meal again. And Maggie remembered to return the book of pictures to him.

Eddie ended up crying in the restaurant anyway.

The food was fantastic, and everyone was content on the way back to Eddie’s dorm. He bid farewell to Wentworth and Maggie, offering to show them around the city within the next couple of days. Eddie’s room was packed up already, easy to ship to California. “We won’t be needing the lamps anymore.” Richie laughed, setting his backpack onto the floor. “Maybe we’ll give one to my parents.”

“We’ll have to make new color codes.” Eddie snickered, pulling him down onto the bed with him. “Undress me.”

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Richie smirked, unbuttoning their shirts. “We can christen the room for the next sorry bastard.”

“Ew Richie.” Eddie hit his chest lightly, but he’d never felt happier in his entire life. “Are you finally gonna fuck me?”

Richie hung his head for a moment, groaning loudly. “Shit Eds, you can’t just say it like that.”

“What, you too tired old man?”

“Dick.”

“No, _you’re_ dick. I’m Eddie.” He laughed, squirming at the way Richie pinched his sides.

“Hey, stop being funnier than me.” He smiled down at him, dipping lower to suck at his neck. Eddie’s hands found their home in his hair, scratching along his scalp lightly like he knew drove him crazy. He peppered kisses along his face, undoing his pants quickly. “You’re sure about this?”

“Yes.” He hissed, arching into his touch.

“There’s no rush.” He reminded him, and Eddie wanted to retaliate, but he knew it was from a good place. 

“Richie, I’m extra extra sure. Okay?”

“Okay.” He grunted, helping them both get out of their pants. “Do you have lube and condoms?” Eddie pointed to a backpack at the foot of his bed, and Richie pulled out condoms that he hoped would fit and a brand new bottle of lube. “You’ll tell me to stop if you need to, right?”

“Richie.” He glared, and Richie chuckled, nodding as he popped the cap open and poured a generous amount of lube over his fingers. 

“Okay, okay. I’ve got you.” He slotted himself next to Eddie, laying on his side while Eddie laid on his back, legs spread and inviting. Richie circled one arm around his shoulders, pressing their mouths together while his other hand trailed down in between his legs. He tried to distract him with his tongue as the pad of his finger brushed over him gently, reluctantly pushing in just a bit.

Eddie sighed into his mouth, encouraging Richie to keep going. He sunk his finger into him slowly, carefully moving it around inside of him. “Richie, I love you.” He murmured, gripping onto his arm. “But if you don’t move faster I will kill you.”

“You sure?” Richie chuckled into his neck, and Eddie would’ve yelled at him if he didn’t immediately give him a second finger.

“I’m not made of glass- _shit._ ” He panted back bowing off of the bed when Richie hit his prostate, kissing his neck soothingly.

“I know sweetheart.” He cooed, stretching his fingers apart to start working him open slowly. They’d done this together a few times over the phone, with Richie guiding him to touch himself. But Richie’s fingers were much longer than his, more calculated. Eddie had never gone all the way as a bottom before, settling for lousy handjobs and blowjobs with guys who were cute, but had no substance. Richie had done everything really, and he was open to doing whatever Eddie wanted, however he wanted it.

Eddie wanted him, badly.

“I think I’m good.” He huffed, three fingers working diligently inside of him, and he was already close to shooting off. “Please.”

“You’re so damn cute when you ask nicely.” Richie kissed him gently, withdrawing his fingers and wiping them on the sheets. Eddie would’ve complained if he wasn’t planning on tossing them anyway so he could avoid having to pack them. He rolled the condom onto himself, sighing as he pumped himself a few times before settling back on top of him. “You’re gorgeous Eds.”

Eddie hummed, clutching on to his shoulders as Richie slid a pillow underneath him for leverage. He teased his opening, leaning his forehead against his as he pressed in lightly. The blunt head of him stretched Eddie wide, hesitantly inching into him. Eddie’s nails bit down onto his shoulders, tensing up a little bit at the girth.

“Relax honey, you’re doing so good.” Richie reminded him, short of breath. 

Eddie took a deep breath, biting his lips as Richie slid into him, torturously slow. It felt like he’d never end, and when he finally was fully sheathed inside of him, Eddie felt full. It was on the border of too much, but he pressed back into him for more, dropping his head back with a whine. “Richie, move.” He begged.

Richie didn’t have to be told twice, slowly pulling back before snapping his hips forwards. It was a lot, but Eddie just gripped him tighter and pulled him down for a heated kiss as he found a steady rhythm. He was close embarrassingly fast, choking on his breath when Richie would nudge his prostate. Richie held onto him tightly, moaning into his neck. “So good.” He breathed hotly into his ear. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” He twitched on top of him, his hips stilling as he emptied inside of the condom. _“Fuck.”_

“Please, please.” Eddie whimpered, swirling his hips. Richie shushed him with his mouth, kissing him deeply as he rocked back into him, one hand coming down to take his leaking dick and stroke him quickly. It was teetering on the line of overstimulation, blissful yet aching. Eddie yelped as he came over his hand, shaking underneath him and fighting to get away from the overwhelming pleasure. He clenched his eyes shut, raking his nails down Richie’s back rather harshly. Richie held him, coming down with him as he softened, using the last of his energy to pull out and discard the condom. 

He wiped his hand with some tissues off of Eddie’s desk, flopping back down onto the bed to pull him close to his chest. He kissed his head lightly, brushing some wild strands out of his face as they caught their breaths. “Thank you.” Eddie swallowed, feeling oddly emotional.

“For having sex with you?” Richie laughed into his hair. “I should be thanking you.”

“No, dumbass. For just being here.” 

Richie sighed, squeezing him gently. “I’m never leaving you again. You’re going to end up hating me.”

“Impossible.” 

“I feel like I’m being challenged, is this a challenge?”

Eddie scoffed lightheartedly, turning his head to kiss at his chest. “I challenge you to put up with living with me. I’m a total basket case.”

“You and me both, babycakes.” He hummed, thumbing at his cheek. “I got you something.”

“I told you not to get me anything.” He glared, tipping his head up. Richie took the opportunity to kiss him, soft and loving. 

“No way you thought that was going to work. When do I ever listen to you?” He smirked, reaching over to Eddie’s desk so he could grab his phone. “I bought us tickets back to LA. I wanted to bring you back with me.”

“Shut up.” Eddie gasped, gripping his phone so he could read. “Richie, these are first class!”

“I hope so.” He grinned, taking his phone back so he could open his photos. “I like this photo my mom took of us today, maybe it can go into the album?”

“Are you changing the topic so I won’t lecture you about paying for first-class seats?”

Richie smirked at him, shutting his phone and tossing it to the side. “Eds, I promise, you lecturing me is one of my favorite things in the world. And I will put up with it till the end of time itself.”

They laced their fingers together, and Eddie’s chest hurt with the thought of the future. The thought of endless possibilities. They were together, and they were moving on to their next big adventures. Him and his lover, his best friend, his world. His mind drifted to what their new place might look like, excited to hunt for their own little corner that would be theirs and theirs only. And in a few years, he’d have Maggie and Went there too.

“Yeah.” He smiled. “I’ll put up with you too, I guess.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading <3  
> If you'd like, you can follow me on Twitter @ notreddie4this  
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


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